Hair raising tale, all the same!
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[Actual conversation] Wife: *scoffs. I can buzz your hair. Me: have you ever cut someone's hair before? Wife: *exasperated. Well, I've shaved a horse before. Me: ...
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We have a cheap barber kit so my wife gave me and the kids a high and tight
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The humanity. Surely the bottom is in if a majority says yes.
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Twice. Looking fine. Faster and cheaper.
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I cut my wife’s!

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An upgrade from cutting my own.
End of conversation
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I might ask if any husband or boyfriend would be stupid enough to agree to that

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No. That would be gay. It wouldn't be mentioned, but it would feel gay for both parties. This is a subconsciously divorce-triggering idea.
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