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Interestingly often the restraint/standard has to do with a typical existential-hunger displacement focus like money or status. ā€œThis is beneath meā€ ā€œI am worth too much to give this away from freeā€ ā€œI can’t post writing that is this embarrassingly bad relative to Hemingwayā€
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People trying to fill a void created by an absence of brrr via insatiable displacement are trying to fill a bottomless well by pouring fuel on an unrelated fire over there. It’s a mismatch they can’t see at some deep level. And it makes them miserable, resentful, and exhausting.
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I’m not helpful or nurturing type, but I can help/nurture people through almost any problem if I care enough about them. Not this one though. I have uniformly failed to help people lacking brrr in their lives, lacking an inner abundance. It’s like they’re in a place I can’t reach
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If you’ve figured out your inner brrr, I can probably help you with almost any other problem at least a little bit, no matter how hard. But if you lack the brrr, no matter how much you have going for you in every other way — talent, resources, whatever — I can’t help you.
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It’s not just me. I think people lacking a brrrr are kinda beyond all help from others and are the loneliest people in the world. Because brrrr is how we appear in the world as individuals and connect with others. Without brrr you can’t be seen, no matter how hard you try.
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I have seen one thing kinda-sorta work though. If you build walls around yourself, like tribal ingroup ot whatever, you can get a sort of ersatz brrrr going. It’s like locking out the infinite expanse of the universe so you inhabit only a finite subset unlocks inner infinitude.
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That wall though has to be kinda absolute, conceptually and in practice, like an event horizon. You really do have to irreversibly shout out all but a whitelisted part of reality. If it breaks in, you must resist and turn it back like it’s the forces of hell.
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Haven’t yet worked out the mechanism. And anyway it doesn’t work well. It keeps breaking down. The walled-in pseudo-brrr is not robust. So the bad9c problem remains unsolved. This is more palliative than solution. But it’s better than displacement into inexhaustible hungers.
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This whole phenomenon makes me sad. Wish there was a way to reliably teach the discovery of inner abundance. I don’t think there is. It’s a lemon market of pretenders.
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