This is the “yes, and...” improv approach to being changed. It’s also Miller’s law applied to accepting subjective postures at face value. Assume their life posture is valid and ask what circumstances it could be valid for. Then look for ways to change the circumstances.
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One last point. Assuming you understand the constraint structure of anyone’s life, even your own, from the legible part, is like assuming you can guess the shape of the submerged part of an iceberg from the 10% visible
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I want like, a bunch of examples here to understand this properly
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I’m afraid I do not offer exemplification services
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Inertia rules people's choices way more than awareness. Changing state needs pain, fear, or a deep desire borne from greed or curiosity. All beyond a minimum threshold to move the needle. Not easy.
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Inertia is a dangerous metaphor to use here. Often code for “you lack willpower” sermonizing. Your model is behaviorist, which I’m rejecting. {inertia, pain, fear, greed, curiosity} suggests a dumb, uncomputed solution. I’m suggesting people constraint-solve for life livability.
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Many life style and career choices are mimetic, directed, or product of nurture. I wonder how many consciously determine time-money trade offs. Likely that it just happened a certain way and they stuck to it, be it with regret or satisfaction.
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Agree that the "if I were you" formulation" is silly. Any discussion of alternatives need an understanding of what the person is seeking to solve. This is far from easy to grok for third parties when people have a hard time knowing themselves for sure.
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