I think many people fail at this because they approach other people’s problems with an “if I were you” starting point. But that’s changing the whole essence of the problem: them being not-you. Might as well suggest “If you were a spherical cow...”
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Note. This thread is NOT about “changing incentives” in the economics sense. Changing incentives is about causing predictable changes driven by a fixed solution. That works for things like offering a discount to drive sales. Changing constraints causes an unpredictable re-solving
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This is not a behaviorist approach OR a cognitivist approach. It’s a complex system gambling approach. You’re betting that disrupting an equilibrium is more likely to result in a better new one than worse. It’s a change-is-good bet.
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One last point. Assuming you understand the constraint structure of anyone’s life, even your own, from the legible part, is like assuming you can guess the shape of the submerged part of an iceberg from the 10% visible
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Wait, me telling people to eat less and exercise more *doesn’t* help them get in shape???
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Sadly and anecdotally, it actually does not
My advices sounds more like "you don't need me to tell you what to do..."
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Same goes motivation. "You just don't have the motivation!" Is more often than not a red herring created to absolve the consequences of a systemic rot.
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I read a thing saying it's also about whether you perceive there being a choice or not. "Wow that must have take willpower" "Well I had to do it, so" Not helpful but interesting.
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what if it can be trained over time like a muscle you'd see that someone just blurting "just dead them 4plate bro, 1rm!" wasn't helpful, but that doesn't mean the whole thing isn't real you gotta start where you are and take small steps so you don't tear something
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Instead of willpower, I think of adding/removing 'friction' to something I want to do/not do. Killing wifi so I have to leave the house to use the internet=adding friction.
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We perceive mental conflict among mental subsystems as "willpower" Optimizing for high willpower is optimizing death match combat among your subsystems, v v dumb
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Constraint changes can cause conflict/willpower. This is fine--if it passes through and subsides. Esp if it actually leads to a new equilibrium
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