“Where to live next year” decision is turning out to be NP-hard. Wife and I are gleefully vetoing each other’s ideas and getting nowhere. “Too snowy” “Too dry” “I need a decent airport” “Need a Whole Foods” ... Megacities: unsustainably overpriced Schelling points from hell.
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We are both in our 40s and completely suck at basic adulting
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There are only 3 American stories. 1. Never moved away from Smalltown 2. Sustainably living in Charismatic Bigcity, having moved from Smalltown 3. Crashed out of Charismatic Bigcity to Different Smalltown that exists as a living critique of the former
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Venkatesh Rao Retweeted Venkatesh Rao
Varun gets it, A city is not a candidate until I understand what continuation it represents. It’s a narrative extension problem. The constraint satisfaction part is merely the legible bit so it’s easy to get caught up in that. https://twitter.com/vgr/status/1226565741081591808?s=21 …https://twitter.com/vgr/status/1226565741081591808 …
Venkatesh Rao added,
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The city you live in is a *powerful* predictor and embodiment of the story you’re enacting, especially in the context of the series that came before. If you don’t have a good narrative justification for why you’re moving there, you won’t last long (unless you get trapped there)
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One of the best arguments against the big economy and in favor of paycheck career is in fact “too much freedom.” With paycheck career, job hunting = lifestyle design. Your next job locks down your next chapter.
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Another thing single people don’t appreciate (going by responses) is that the couple version of the problem is an entirely different problem. Qualitatively different.
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Replying to @vgr
if it’s a narrative problem, why where are you two in your hero’s journey? Is tension rising or falling?
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It’s not a hero’s journey, it’s le Guin Carrier bag story
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Replying to @vgr
In your case then, I reckon the most contradictory and confounding extension of your narrative is a small-town-enveloped-by-suburbia with walk-to-the-train access to the Philadelphia airport.
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It’s not a constraint satisfaction problem. It is a narrative extension problem with a set of constraints.