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“Where to live next year” decision is turning out to be NP-hard. Wife and I are gleefully vetoing each other’s ideas and getting nowhere. “Too snowy” “Too dry” “I need a decent airport” “Need a Whole Foods” ... Megacities: unsustainably overpriced Schelling points from hell.
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There are only 3 American stories. 1. Never moved away from Smalltown 2. Sustainably living in Charismatic Bigcity, having moved from Smalltown 3. Crashed out of Charismatic Bigcity to Different Smalltown that exists as a living critique of the former
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Varun gets it, A city is not a candidate until I understand what continuation it represents. It’s a narrative extension problem. The constraint satisfaction part is merely the legible bit so it’s easy to get caught up in that.
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Replying to @vr00n @kellybianucci and @DanielleMorrill
You’re possibly the only one among people responding who is grokking the way I’m trying to frame the problem. 😀 It’s not a constraint satisfaction problem. It is a narrative extension problem with a set of constraints.
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The city you live in is a *powerful* predictor and embodiment of the story you’re enacting, especially in the context of the series that came before. If you don’t have a good narrative justification for why you’re moving there, you won’t last long (unless you get trapped there)
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Another thing single people don’t appreciate (going by responses) is that the couple version of the problem is an entirely different problem. Qualitatively different.
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Loop linking macro cities thread
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Since WW2, the story of humanity has increasingly been the story of the top 100 or so charismatic big cities. The ones that can each lay claim to an important subplot of the human story. Not necessarily the biggest ones but the ones that you instantly associate with a big story.
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The only thing more fraught than giving people city advice is giving them dating advice probably. Career advice is less fraught, coming in at #3. Wonder why there aren’t “city match” sites the way there are dating, marriage, and job sites.
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I think u inhale the opinions of those around you. What opinions do u want to hold more of? Portland: chill lifestyle > *
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Good point. Though in my case it’s more about people passing through than living there. I tend to have 90% social interactions with people passing through.
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We wanted to live <15 minutes from my wife’s family and walking distance to a train narrowed it down to 2 towns and three housing developments. Made negotiating hard (no BATNA) but searching was a breeze.
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