“Where to live next year” decision is turning out to be NP-hard. Wife and I are gleefully vetoing each other’s ideas and getting nowhere. “Too snowy” “Too dry” “I need a decent airport” “Need a Whole Foods” ... Megacities: unsustainably overpriced Schelling points from hell.
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The city you live in is a *powerful* predictor and embodiment of the story you’re enacting, especially in the context of the series that came before. If you don’t have a good narrative justification for why you’re moving there, you won’t last long (unless you get trapped there)
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One of the best arguments against the big economy and in favor of paycheck career is in fact “too much freedom.” With paycheck career, job hunting = lifestyle design. Your next job locks down your next chapter.
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Another thing single people don’t appreciate (going by responses) is that the couple version of the problem is an entirely different problem. Qualitatively different.
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Loop linking macro cities threadhttps://twitter.com/vgr/status/1226388443694948355?s=21 …
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The only thing more fraught than giving people city advice is giving them dating advice probably. Career advice is less fraught, coming in at #3. Wonder why there aren’t “city match” sites the way there are dating, marriage, and job sites.
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Probably because there’s no meaningful counterparty to the match.
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End of conversation
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the problem is that our utopian cities only exist in the future and the past.
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Chicago: you're at acceptance | premium mediocre. Big city without status pressure: the most ambitious leave. What's left: every (non-top) slice of economy/culture, none dominant. Climate functionally matches NYC. Walk/transit/car lifestyles all ok. Prices workable. Nicer parks.
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My husband and I moved cities last year. At first, I let other people's opinions (real and imagined) influence how I felt about each option way, way too much. You've got to write your 'narrative' for yourself, not for your readers, I think. They'll come along.
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A lot of later-in-life moves are motivated partly by new hobbies/interests, like
@DanielleMorrill mentioned. Maybe thinking of the new locs in terms of what new activities they'll allow for will help with the narrative aspect. Each place = chance to try on a new identity

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It’s not a constraint satisfaction problem. It is a narrative extension problem with a set of constraints.