Venkatesh Rao

This is why it's great to try to have even the briefest of interactions with as many of your neighbors as possible. It makes things like this WAY less stressful. Some things will force you into togetherness like hurricane prep.

Ez. Bring a gun

Not fun, but not so terrible if it's the first time broaching the issue. I'd just be polite and concise. Gets waaay more stressful if they repeat the offence.

Very. Maybe this is why I prefer what you see as a passive aggressive interaction—communicating the anger with plausible (if barely) deniability

Ugh, that would ruin my week

It's like talking to a stranger at the very beginning of a long international flight. Default is you politely pretend the other doesn't exist. Acknowledging existence can lead to lots of awkwardness.

I’m literally in the midst of trying to work up the courage to go talk to a neighbor in my apartment building about loud music. But the biggest problem is that based on my location, I’m not REALLY sure where it’s coming from bc it could be any 1 of 3 or 4 different apts

Recently I was on the other side of this exchange due to being a parent of a normal 2 year old. Similarly stressful on this side as well. Shoddy city apartments are the real villain here.