Overloading John Gottman’s healthy-marriage heuristic, try to ensure that 4 out of 5 interactions with anyone are neither about confirmation or disconfirmation, but about mutual knowledge growth. That’s how you invest in pluralism.https://twitter.com/vgr/status/1167855438605373440?s=21 …
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In discworld Pratchett has the notion of “dungeon dimensions” where dark forces and creatures lurk. A parody of Cthulhu type mythology. Human sociability rests atop a much more positive sort of dungeon dimension space. You just have to dig to unleash goodwill monsters.
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The process IS the result. It’s not a means to an end but the end itself. You get along, and enrich each other’s lives, and when you must conflict later, you treat each other more kindly. To use an old-fashioned word, you become friends.
End of conversation
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Interesting. Any thoughts on why that works?
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You share a larger, truer, more robust self. Like in dating you might lead with your best, most aspirational persona that’s tiring to inhabit longer than a few hours, but it only goes anywhere if you can eventually get along with each other’s everyday personas.
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Somehow this thread went from geopolitics to dating advice.
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Geopolitics *is* dating
End of conversation
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