In a way this is heartening evidence of the fundamentally scientific sensibility underlying human sociability. We act to “fail fast” in relationships by disconfirming the hypothesis that a counterparty can be trusted, by seeking common conflict ground. Rational under scarcity.
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Tldr: don’t debate, don’t seek common ground. Just try to keep the game going as long as possible exploring common NEW ground.
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Btw, do not fall for aspirational mutual growth trap where you try to find lofty new common ground together (“let’s go to classical music concerts together”, “let’s learn Python together”). Random low-brow shit works FAR better. Taco hunting this weekend, B-movie next weekend.
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In discworld Pratchett has the notion of “dungeon dimensions” where dark forces and creatures lurk. A parody of Cthulhu type mythology. Human sociability rests atop a much more positive sort of dungeon dimension space. You just have to dig to unleash goodwill monsters.
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