The space for possible productive, win-win interactions between any 2 randomly chosen humans is far vaster than the space where they must necessarily conflict. The only catch is: both sides must be open to new experiences, otherwise the interaction will quickly find conflict
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A particularly tedious kind of common-grounding game is trying to find common acquaintances and then discussing them. “Do you know X?” “No, do you know Y?” “No, do you know Z?” “Yes!” Cue dull discussion of Z whom neither know very well or care for.
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Tldr: don’t debate, don’t seek common ground. Just try to keep the game going as long as possible exploring common NEW ground.
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Btw, do not fall for aspirational mutual growth trap where you try to find lofty new common ground together (“let’s go to classical music concerts together”, “let’s learn Python together”). Random low-brow shit works FAR better. Taco hunting this weekend, B-movie next weekend.
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In discworld Pratchett has the notion of “dungeon dimensions” where dark forces and creatures lurk. A parody of Cthulhu type mythology. Human sociability rests atop a much more positive sort of dungeon dimension space. You just have to dig to unleash goodwill monsters.
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End of conversation
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