(exaggerating a bit for effect there...)
I was briefly at risk of becoming fully “westernized” and becoming a fully gone-native western thinker with a wog epistemology.
I do think 90% in English, but I’d say only ~30-50% of my thought patterns are classical western ones).
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I was *very* briefly at risk of becoming a STEM supremacist (for about 3 months in the summer of 1993, between getting accepted at IIT, a big hubris booster, and discovering upon getting there how ordinary my STEM talents were in that cohort).
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When I got interested in non-STEM topics, I was coming off 15y in the STEM world, exiting with 3 mediocre degrees, mediocre track record (including a deadpooled product, 6 meh patents, and a dozen meh publications), and a small but secure identity/confidence. No Elon Musk but ok.
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I was never a STEM supremacist because I didn’t win enough to get an inflated sense of myself that way. But I won enough that it was enough to immunize me against the intimidation and contempt defenses against dirty barbarian STEMmie attention on lofty humanist questions.
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Interestingly there is nothing like wog epistemology (“brown sahib” Indian —> European going native) for STEM —> HSS. I’ve never met a STEMMie so in awe of critical theory that they accept access to HSS discourses with deferential gratitude and abandonment of subversive impulses.
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So, tldr of my 2 immigration stories: I never self-essentialized as Indian or wog-Westerner, or as STEMMie doerist or HSS critical-theory supremacist.
This has been the reward for a spectacularly mediocre 22-year adult career along all conventional vectors of accomplishment.
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The consolation of mediocre success at life’s games around big prizes is an identity too small to obscure your view of where and how your feet are on the ground.
Immigration story #1 makes me incapable of ethnonationalist sentiment on *any* side that might accept me as a member.
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I don't get it. I've achieved less success than you, yet I don't have a worldview that idealizes mediocrity, *and* I'm not horribly sad about my failures. Success is actually hard! It's possible to admit you're not the best and also that it would be great if you were!
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I have no problem with that. I admire success, recognize that it is hard, recognize that it creates dark consequences/has a cost too.
I don’t idealize mediocrity. I just recognize it as a condition worth inhabiting as much as success. In fact, I think I prefer it to “success”.
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maybe you're reading a more specific meaning into "idealize" than I intended; I just mean you prefer mediocrity to success, praise mediocrity, etc.
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For the simple reason that it’s not entirely something you can choose not to be. Which means you have to learn to appreciate what it infact is instead of futile pining for other life conditions.
When the mediocre strive too hard to be “successful” they usually end up miserable.
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Yeah, I think that's our crux, I think most people (including myself) are way too quick to stop wanting things they think they can't have. At current margins, we could stand to dream bigger.
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A small subset — and that includes you —can and should.
This is tautological, but everybody takes the path of least resistance even if it looks like striving and success. Doing anything else would have been harder.
It is interesting you think I’m more successful than you 😂
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