Bender: "Like everything else in life, pumping is just a primitive, degenerate form of bending."
What’s your “bending”? Your ur-way way of doing/becoming?
Conversation
My own might be “half-assing it”. Ie doing the mediocre sufficient thing.
I appreciate the people in the world who don’t half-ass things as a default, much gratitude, but I’m not one of them.
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I overthink and calculate and risk hedge at others and the world around me rather than let myself acknowledge what I feel. It’s from old wounds from risking much in love and career and getting burned. It’s a defense. I’m working on it. I’m not yet what I could be.
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It’s a wound in the screenplay sense. Here’s a deeper explanation from an unsent letter I wrote to someone dear to me, written for me to help myself understand.
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Nope. pride and fear. Pride that I can 🧠 out of emotional problems more than I can, and fear of wading into the unknown of reckoning with your own emotions.
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Your response is different and healthier but the cause seems to be similar to classical NWs
Though classic unhealthy responses have a better chance of making you filthy rich
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It’s an overreaction to self-criticism predating one of the major wounds. I defaukted to “my fault, how to fix?” then all would be well. I perhaps overcorrect the target of my overthink now towards NW, but it’s not fundamental to me, a youngest child and appeaser.

