Dealing with people for whom being respected/disrespected is a big deal feels really awkward, like writing with my left hand. I have to kinda model them in some sort of janky emulation mode. I can detect respect/disrespect but don’t have a strong response to it. 🤔
Conversation
Being respected is convenient and sometimes eases things, like TSA Precheck. Being disrespected sometimes creates annoying extra hurdles to navigate like being profiled, which I dislike, but if it is just disrespect without any practical effects, hard for me to summon a reaction
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Interaction I’ve occasionally had with petty bureaucrat types:
1: They disrespect me without consequences
2: I don’t react beyond, keep my end civil
3: They get mad and escalate to add hurdles
4: I address hurdles but still have no genuine reaction
5. Now they’re really mad...
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Maybe carry a laminated card saying
“I am autistic and not good at reading facial expressions. If you need something from me, please say so explicitly”?
I’m kinda curious to see how that would work. Maybe make life much more pleasant?
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I feel what you mean. My sense is that some bureaucrats believe they are entitled to be recognized for their inflated and overcompensating importance. Treating them with run-of-the-mill civility is an insult.
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disrespect can be an effective control mechanism for people who do have a reaction to it (which is probably most people).
if a ruleset doesn’t explicitly include your use-case, whether or not a beurocrat respects you can determine whether or not you get what you need.





