Dealing with people for whom being respected/disrespected is a big deal feels really awkward, like writing with my left hand. I have to kinda model them in some sort of janky emulation mode. I can detect respect/disrespect but don’t have a strong response to it. 
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Sometimes I think if I were a good enough actor to fake a slight reaction at step 1 I could avoid the escalation. Disrespect seems to often be a plea for recognition/respect in the form of a humiliation/anger performance.
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Bureaucrats are different in every country, no? All depends on balance of power and accountability.
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There are some commonalities...
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