If you can’t instinctively respond to an unconsciously felt sense of what another person values about themselves, they will either drop you or treat you like a robot. That’s what’s going on behind accusations of tone deafness, disrespect etc.
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We have a deep need to be seen. This is at the core of so many anxiety disorders and identity crises - we mask, we hide our true selves, and are not seen. And then we cannot be whole.
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There’s an equally deep counter-need to remain unseen, which shows up past a point of growth. Creates a fascinating paradox.
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