This is what I’m talking about when I’m talking about fridge lights
Most of your world treats you a certain way, and it’s easy to assume that’s how the world is, but it’s really “how *your* world is *to you*”. twitter.com/queergirlblogs
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Metaphor for subjective social reality: fridge light. Every time I open my fridge, there's light. Therefore, the fridge light is always on.
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Interesting thing happened a few days ago that's stuck with me. Wife and I were out, and bumped into a father and child at a donut shop. The child was visibly intimidated by me and the father hid her behind him. My wife was surprised: it was her first time witnessing this
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My wife and I got married when we were 22. When we went out to buy furniture, air-conditioning, etc - literally none of the salesfolk would pay us any attention. I joked that I’d immediately buy anything from anyone who took us seriously, but basically nobody did
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A similarly funny experience was walking into a guitar shop at 27+ and receiving *service*! When I was 17 they assumed that I was just there to touch their stuff and not buy anything
I proceeded to gleefully touch stuff and not buy anything, and they were nice to me
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My wife has had multiple strangers propose marriage to her in public over the years
Strangers who make eye contact with me 95-99% of the time immediately look away
We each live in a subjective social reality that’s alien and foreign to the other
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One of my personal rules in life is: if you see someone who looks like they don’t belong, make 2-3x the effort and make them feel like they belong.
It’s a few extra minutes of effort for you, but there’s a good chance they will remember you *for life*
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If there’s a weird nerd hanging around in the lobby awkwardly, it might be worth talking to him
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similar-ish story that’s coming to mind - Elon Musk was speaking at some event with a Q&A, and some guy in the audience was gushing about how he had an idea for an electric bike. IIRC, Elon listened patiently. And I remembered how Elon himself stood shyly at the Netscape lobby
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