Preliminary theory of self-liking. It isn’t the same as being likable to others. It consists of being interested in what happens to you, without being overly invested in, or striving for, *particular* things to happen to you, so long as unpleasant premature endings are avoided.
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Self-liking is a pattern of self-regard that accompanies mediocre, low-bar existential ambition. As in ambition sufficient to want to exist, and keep it interesting, but being happy-go-lucky about pursuing more. Liking your own company enough to want it extended indefinitely.
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It is somewhat orthogonal to self-esteem. Some amount of self-esteem is necessary but not sufficient for self-liking. A reliable indicator of self-liking is being able to tolerate periods of mild boredom without getting mad about it or impatiently forcing events.
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A reliable indicator of self-disliking is that boredom makes you angry. Boredom is due to the universe temporarily putting on a dull show, occasionally unavoidable, but you could still be good company for yourself. Getting mad means you *need* the distraction from yourself.
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Self-liking may or may not be accompanied by being likable to others. I think the 2x2 is full, but the symmetric positions are more stable (likable+self-liking and dislikable+self-disliking).
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Replying to
So you have to like the inside feel of the behavior. And it need not be a skilled behavior or sensory hedonism. Daydreaming is a good example.
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Self-liking might also explain excellence resistance. 🤔
From the inside the feel of excelling at something can be way too intense to like. You have to slack off and take a breather. Or cut the experience with some good meh.
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