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this is going to sound a little crass, but it’s frustrating to hear people constantly complaining about their lives. you’re the architect of your own story. if you don’t like what you’re doing, change it. and if you can’t, check that’s it’s not because you don’t really want to.
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It sounds ironic more than crass If you don’t like feeling frustrated at complainers but still are... perhaps you’re into the aesthetic of being frustrated at complainers?
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I notice the frustration most in people who have themselves gone through tough struggles and see others apparently give up more easily in the face of seemingly lesser struggles than their own.
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yes but going to push back on that as a cause here. some people’s problems seem minor but can be just as bad or if not worse an experience than those who are resilient to stress. doesn’t change the agency part
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That’s actually my position, except for the agency part. I think psychology can weaken or entirely paralyze agency for long periods of time (years) until specific external events reboot it. During that period, if it’s a friend, sometimes all you can do is patiently be there.
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Often, reboot will overshoot in the other direction, where they’ll get so excited at the return of agency they’ll try to do too much, too soon, and with insufficient time for skills progression. Then friends get frustrated at their self-sabotage through unrealistic expectations