It involves navigating “with me or against me” or “if you respect me you’ll join me in hating them” type ultimatums etc. No easy way out if you don’t want to hurt random others to show you value them. Introducing non-beef elements into their thinking is hard.
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Ie your memory is functionally organized not as random-access with arbitrary addressability but like a tape or hard disk, with the continuity of your identity serving as the “head” that seeks out useful ones, driven by automatic associative search. You CAN’T avoid the bridge.
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That’s all I have so far. If you have ideas on how to help beef-only people you care about without being roped into their beefs, I’m all ears. I’d say at least a third of people are like this, so a third of your close relationships probably pose this challenge.
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