Beef-only thinking isn’t a problem when strangers you dislike do it. Just ignore/avoid getting in their sights. It’s a big problem when close friends/family who you want to keep get into beef-only mode. Because the only way you can help them heal is join their beef.
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The reason is that memory is a general rather than special purpose factor in all problem solving. You automatically and unconsciously associatively search through all memories to find salient ones. You don’t have a specific reason. It’s just “bad sector” in sequential access.
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Ie your memory is functionally organized not as random-access with arbitrary addressability but like a tape or hard disk, with the continuity of your identity serving as the “head” that seeks out useful ones, driven by automatic associative search. You CAN’T avoid the bridge.
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That’s all I have so far. If you have ideas on how to help beef-only people you care about without being roped into their beefs, I’m all ears. I’d say at least a third of people are like this, so a third of your close relationships probably pose this challenge.
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