Ah yes, the old “combating toxic masculinity by being macho and aggressive”.https://twitter.com/WTF_Judge/status/1077244103849623553 …
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Replying to @spectologypod @adrianmryan
ah c'mon man... you're giving a dog a bad name and hanging it. Emotional engagement and tough love are just 2 modes with pros and cons, and both men and women are capable of using both. Don't demonize one. Alphaism is fine until it turns into sadism. Connection has toxicity too
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Replying to @vgr @adrianmryan
Read my whole thread, I’m calling into question that these methods are appropriate for the stated ends. You can’t convince someone that “alpha/beta is a bad framework” by trying to be more alpha than them.
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Replying to @spectologypod @adrianmryan
I did read it and the thread you were QTing. I think there's 2 definitions of "alpha" operating in that thread... a subcultural performance mask version, versus the default natural way guys normally act, which I am very wary of "medicalizing" into a mental illness or something.
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Basically I think a more skilled version of what the guy did actually works and is in fact the basis of management/motivation models that are appropriate for many contexts. Otoh the stereotypically feminine "emotional connection" model has (imo) equal or greater toxicity dangers
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Replying to @vgr @adrianmryan
Yeah I’m not saying there’s not such thing as tough love or that everything has to be hyper-emotionalized, just that what the guy was bragging about doing was a really inept way of trying to get through to his nephew.
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I can relate since I have a teenage nephew. Even within family it may not be the appropriate way. Totally depends on the relative personalities of the 2 people. I like Kim Scott's radical candor matrix for navigating this. "Ruinous empathy" is the worst quadrant.
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