The saddest principle of moral calculus appears to be that you generally pay with loss of kindness in proportion to achieved *unexpected* success. *Expected* success doesn’t seem to exact this cost though.
I’m very impressed by people who buck this principle. Moral geniuses.
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Seems like one trick is to see yourself as very advantaged relative to most other people. Then you're grateful instead of full of yourself. No one pulls themselves by their bootstraps alone. But only some people acknowledge the helping hands.
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Yes, this is actually the basic trick to what used to be the basic American life narrative. Dan McAdams has a great book about it called The Redemptive Self.
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