People who make bothsides arguments probably have more/closer relationships on bothsides than can be talked about without embarrassment
There’s a lot more people on both sides than can be caricatured away as racist-uncle-at-thanksgiving/gender-studies-lesbian-niece-at-university
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Its also unpleasant for partisans to admit to the patterns of behavior that at times mirror that of the other side even if the specifics or the triggers vary. Which is when the special pleading and double standards roll out. Most Americans prefer bright lines to nuanced greys
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