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vgr's profile
Venkatesh Rao
Venkatesh Rao
Venkatesh Rao
@vgr

Tweets

Venkatesh Rao

@vgr

Conversational account. For work follow @ribbonfarm, @breaking_smart, @artofgig. Tweets are 90% vacuous views, apathetically held. Mediocritopian. IKEA builder.

Los Angeles, CA
venkateshrao.com
Joined August 2007

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    1. visa is working on his ebook‏ @visakanv 16 Aug 2018
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      visa is working on his ebook Retweeted visa is working on his ebook

      A thing I wrote once about how my wife and I (try to) manage our logisticshttps://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1001302740583178240?s=21 …

      visa is working on his ebook added,

      visa is working on his ebook @visakanv
      Replying to @utotranslucence
      I’ve shared this with a few friends who’ve appreciated it https://medium.com/@visakanv/slack-for-spouses-5a91e7140d21 …
      3 replies 9 retweets 84 likes
      Show this thread
    2. visa is working on his ebook‏ @visakanv 17 Aug 2018
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      visa is working on his ebook Retweeted Joseph Mūnji

      Sure! Basically, in a marriage, you’re going to have to deal with the costs incurred by your partner’s mistakes. THEY forgot something, THEY messed something up, you did your part but THEY didn’t. This is painful and frustratinghttps://twitter.com/josephmunji/status/1030486428445290496?s=21 …

      visa is working on his ebook added,

      Joseph Mūnji @JosephMunji
      Please expound more on pain resentment... https://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1029920952258154496 …
      1 reply 36 retweets 128 likes
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    3. visa is working on his ebook‏ @visakanv 17 Aug 2018
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      It will become easy to get angry & frustrated with your partner - especially since you’re in such close proximity and your actions impact each other so much. So you need a system to acknowledge, address and resolve all this pain and resentment. IMO this is more intimate than sexpic.twitter.com/yS96J5mqr5

      2 replies 71 retweets 228 likes
      Show this thread
    4. visa is working on his ebook‏ @visakanv 17 Aug 2018
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      I’m not saying I’m an expert. I just have some experience to share. Nobody’s perfect. But if you want a good shot at making things work you gotta do your due diligence & check in, regularly, even when you’re tired, especially when it’s hard. It’s very easy to overlook thispic.twitter.com/MBHaW9MDWb

      1 reply 31 retweets 122 likes
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    5. visa is working on his ebook‏ @visakanv 17 Aug 2018
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      visa is working on his ebook Retweeted visa is working on his ebook

      Acknowledge the mess, and work at ithttps://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1028209119407140864?s=21 …

      visa is working on his ebook added,

      visa is working on his ebook @visakanv
      "The problem most people have with marriages that fail is that they go in thinking, "This person will make me happy." The fuck they will." "You aren't signing on for happiness. You are signing on for sharing human life, and a human life is a complete chaotic crazy mess." pic.twitter.com/YucqwcSgpg
      Show this thread
      2 replies 33 retweets 185 likes
      Show this thread
    6. visa is working on his ebook‏ @visakanv 17 Aug 2018
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      There’s a death spiral that goes like this: 1. you’re tired so you hit snooze on difficult conversations 2. your backlog from 1 is overwhelming 3. You start spacing out in each other’s presence (how was your day? fine). life is now a series of chores 4. The “spark” is gone

      3 replies 48 retweets 249 likes
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    7. visa is working on his ebook‏ @visakanv 17 Aug 2018
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      5. Since it’s all chores and the spark is gone, you’re subtly colder and more uncharitable towards each other. You’re both play-acting corporate shells at this point and it’s very unpleasant. Fight over trivial thing like dishes or laundry 6. Everything gets worse; cycle worsenspic.twitter.com/PdbeBO0xBv

      2 replies 27 retweets 132 likes
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    8. visa is working on his ebook‏ @visakanv 17 Aug 2018
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      So the meta skill is to recognise that this is a spectrum. I think it was Esther Perel who said “you gotta know how to bring it back”. This is likely unique to each couple. But you can see it: how open and psychologically/emotionally intimate people are with each otherpic.twitter.com/PuQGeyWZx7

      3 replies 14 retweets 112 likes
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    9. visa is working on his ebook‏ @visakanv 17 Aug 2018
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      Just to emphasise: we never root for any relationship to fail. Life is hard and love is precious, and we want all of our friends to flourish and be happy. It’s just unfortunate that people are so often unprepared for the work. May you all nourish + be nourished in every way ❤️pic.twitter.com/5g3L8ke4MS

      6 replies 28 retweets 211 likes
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    10. visa is working on his ebook‏ @visakanv 17 Aug 2018
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      visa is working on his ebook Retweeted visa is working on his ebook

      Btw my wife is really smart and funny and y’all would enjoy this threadhttps://twitter.com/visakanv/status/721180324034519040?s=21 …

      visa is working on his ebook added,

      visa is working on his ebook @visakanv
      me: I love you wife: how much me: why this obsession with quantification wife: what gets measured gets managed
      2 replies 10 retweets 72 likes
      Show this thread
      Venkatesh Rao‏ @vgr 17 Aug 2018
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      Replying to @visakanv

      Save some wisdom for the next decade dude 😂

      9:42 PM - 17 Aug 2018
      • 1 Like
      • visa is working on his ebook
      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        1. visa is working on his ebook‏ @visakanv 17 Aug 2018
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          Replying to @vgr

          I think my strategy is to produce content that draws wise people to me so I can lean on them for wisdom and focus on being a childish idiot as I get older

          0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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