New theory, bear with me since I’m having a usual-80 IQ kinda moron day.
What if the culture wars are happening simple because a lot of us unemployable but energetic people are talking too much and the whole thing could be solved with Universal Basic Hush Money to shut us up? 
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I'm trying to remember what it sounds like
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Slightly archaic recording but close enough https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zIV4poUZAQo …
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