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Mark Constantine’s posts
honestly a $1,200 stimulus check isn't that much you can barely buy half a peloton
[everyone willingly gives every bit of personal data to a website for 10 years]
[year 11] everyone: OMG
thinking of using my $1200 stimulus check to become a majority shareholder in exxon mobil
The most successful people I've met:
1. Like dogs
2. Often did cocaine
Quote
The most successful people I've met:
1. Read constantly
2. Workout daily
3. Are innately curious
4. Have laser focus
5. Believe in themselves
6. Build incredible teams
7. Admit they know very little
8. Constantly work to improve
9. Demand excellence in everything they do
Please God let it be a cryptocurrency exchange
Dec 22: "Folks bitcoin could drop to $10,000 and probably lower"
Dec 24: "Folks bitcoin is heading to $8,000 and likely lower"
Dec 26: "Folks bitcoin $20,000 by Friday is a possibility"
This house in Silicon Valley sold for $969,700 this week, in case you're wondering how things are going there
"Bitcoin is a cult", says the guy heading to Berkshire Hathaway's annual shareholders meeting wearing his "Warren is my daddy" t-shirt
Good morning to everyone except the traitors who sold their bitcoins yesterday
Exactly, the only thing you need to get rich is a considerable amount of capital and a 75-year waiting period
Can't wait for Saudi Aramco to acquire Tesla and convert all the cars back to petrol
I love when dumb nonfictional institutional investors with $10bn portfolios randomly request me to pitch them assets that dropped 70% in six months and then have actual dollar signs in their eyes when I drop them some inane bullshit
Elon Musk's weekly schedule:
Mon: Doing some flamethrowers
Tue: Doing some hyperloops
Wed: Firing 4,000 Tesla workers
Thu: Dropping $25m on Tesla stock
Fri: Shitting on socialism
Please stop lying to little girls about how they can all grow up to become princesses, some of them are going to have to become blockchain experts
Bitcoin experts are like "folks I've decided to revise my end-of-year price forecast from $250,000 down to $7,150"
[bitcoin drops for 3 months]
crypto expert: we are lowering our price target from $40K to $5K
[bitcoin rallies for 3 days]
crypto expert: we are raising our price target from $5K to $500K
[at the board meeting]
CEO of ailing company: we need a serious plan or we're done!
me (a serious business consultant): blockchain
[whole room starts clapping, people faint from excitement]
Following Hillary Clinton's election loss to Donald Trump, experts find the entire internet to be a huge Russian propaganda scheme
[telling horror stories at the halloween campfire]
"..and many years ago the stock market used to drop"
*kids start crying; one vomits*
A $10,000 investment in Amazon 20 years ago would buy you 450 pounds of uncut Colombian cocaine today
Thinking of finally telling that guy complaining about his shitcoin's RSI being in oversold territory for the past 238 days to maybe pick a different fucking indicator
cryptos rally 30,000%: this is natural & the result of mainstream adoption
cryptos drop 30%: this is total manipulation by wall street & the Illuminati
buy stocks → stocks rise
↑ ↓
sell bitcoin sell stocks
↑ ↓
bitcoin rises ← buy bitcoin
Chinese rural banks highly dependent on local economies recording lacklustre growth can pose substantial risks despite accounting for only 14% of total assets and liabilities in the country's banking system twitter.com/kamakanaalohaa
BREAKING: Trump administration considers mobilizing as many as 100,000 National Guard troops to round up the last 12 remaining short sellers
Now that Facebook and Twitter are both dead, I'm looking for angel investors to help me resurrect Myspace as a crypto-focused social platform
17-year-old hedge fund managers survive yet another 7-hour bear market
Congrats to whoever wins the $1.6 billion lottery jackpot for finally being able to afford healthcare
Siri, please tell Alexa to delete my Facebook account, for security reasons
Congrats to all market strategists who correctly predicted 'porn actress' as the number one risk for investment portfolios this year
Hey guys I'm starting a GoFundMe for Mark Zuckerberg who's left with only $55 billion today
a meme cryptocurrency hit a $2 billion market cap so I'm going to go with no
Amazing, if you invested $100 in Apple 10 years ago you'd be able to afford an iMac today, probably
Replying to
Crude inventories fall → oil prices jump → cash-strapped producers ramp production → crude inventories rise → oil prices drop → repeat ♻.
I hate these extremely rare occurrences of crypto exchanges getting hacked once a week
Nomura estimates that 40% of all bitcoin trades are transacted in yen, surpassing the US dollar share, and about 1 million Japanese people hold about 3.7 million bitcoins
"This is definitely the bottom for cryptos"
- People who definitely want this to be the bottom for cryptos
things that didn’t exist when lehman brothers collapsed:
ethereum scambots
tinder threesomes
russian hackers
insta thots
bromance
twerking
puppers
doggos
memes
ncis: la
cardi b
keto