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Modern life is just choosing which shit to be freaked out about.
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It's curation, not censorship, and you're going to be awfully upset when you find out about the thousands of other crap books we don't stock
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I like Biden fine. I like Bernie fine. If it’s Bloomberg, I will roll my eyes so hard my retina may detach, but I will be a Bloomberg man. I’m voting for Warren in the primary and against Trump in the general.
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Shout out to the top 5 ain'ts in the world, no mountain high enough, no valley low enough, too proud to beg, no sunshine when she's gone and afraid of no ghosts.
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[S] The next time I go criming, I am so totally gonna request the "no witnesses" option.
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Ok hear me out—an app for husbands called It's Right There. When their wife isn't home and they can't find things, it connects them to someone else's wife who Facetimes them to help them look for their wallet/keys/that thing in the fridge that's literally RIGHT THERE.
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Left wing fatalism annoys the shit out of me, and every time I see it I want to shout FIGHT LIKE YOU MEAN IT YOU GODDAMN COWARD IT'S ONLY THE FUCKING PLANET AT STAKE and then beat someone's whiny ass with a hammer.
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MONDAY. Let's collectively agree that today is We Are Not At Our Best Day, a day where we're all showing up but sleepily phoning it in, a day where we're less "getting it done" and more "wincing and shrugging a lot." GO FORTH AND GIVE THE WORLD'S OKAYEST PERFORMANCE, FRANDOS
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If I think about which candidates I’d most want handling a pandemic, it simplifies things a great deal.
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IT’S A MAGICAL UNICORN OF EMPATHY THAT WILL ALSO BEAT THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF YOUhttps://twitter.com/Nate_Griffin/status/1220921820016259079 …
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Get you a woman who can do it all
pic.twitter.com/sG4OHpVgxM
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I mean, as long as it isn't a library book, this actually seems like a good idea for people who want to read those massive tomes but don't want to carry a 10lb book around. Books aren't inherently sacred. Read them, break the spines, dog ear them, cut them in half.https://twitter.com/alex_christofi/status/1219564301029138432 …
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Family is a construct and the only thing we owe the people who gave us life is to live a life well lived. That’s literally it. We don’t owe our families our time, emotional energy or physical presence. I’m going to keep yelling this into the void until the day I draw my last.
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so many AITA posts are just “my girlfriend rolls harder than me and it squishes my penis, how do i get taller”
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might fuck around and spend the whole day reading in bed
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A lawsuit is one form of education.
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Me, in my teens: This radio station is playing my jams. Me, in my 20s: This bar is playing my jams. Me, in my 30s: This grocery store is playing my jams.
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I wish
@netflix understood just how much their use of autoplayed trailers diminishes my use of their service. Like I will often choose YouTube or HBOGO over Netflix just because I know there won't be any damn mandatory trailers.Prikaži ovu nitHvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
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oh my god I would have punched that holy man right into Jesus's loving embrace
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Woooww!! So much snow on Mount Umunhum
#MtUmunhum@NBCBayWeather@NWSBayArea@SPaulsonKTVU@SFGatepic.twitter.com/1w0MVKycmD
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