Big thanks to @pewdiepie for covering my copyright situation
As mentioned earlier, we got it resolved by manually removing all intros using the YouTube editor (not exactly a fun time), then manually disputing (also not fun). But at least that gets it solved 
I am sorry you had to deal with that, @TeamYouTube needs to get it together on their end and make it so you don't get your WHOLE CHANNEL deleted because they leave disputes entirely up to the claimer. So @TeamYouTube, please get it together, and fix this horrible problem.