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bandit
@UtilityLimb
marshyoutube.com/watch?v=RdYlma…Joined September 2010

bandit’s Tweets

wow, tweet 666 comin' up. oh damn! it's a SICK tweet. new era for u-limb. new style. better than dogs! better than hell dude! here it comes:
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don't set your timeline to military time. bunch of weird dudes tweet from 2400-6666 hours & all they talk about is some secret "in the well"
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"how creative. the joy division album cover again," - me, sarcastically, to the endless black & white lines pouring out the sky into the sea
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dunno why the instructions are rage comics, i didn't buy it. the ikea guy just gave it to us villagers & vanished. i think it's a mausoleum.
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"chicken scallopini? i could tweet chicken skele-penis," i say to the shadows on the cave wall. i don't even remember that i'm chained here.
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ya, last name spelled: [distant howl] as in far off train, [metallic scraping] as in axe being dragged through quarry, [quiet sobbing] as in
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corporations are people because people are corporations made of trillions of cells that survive by destroying+consuming weaker corporations
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"man i'm sick of tv shooting for the lowest common dominator," drones man controlled by one of the largest, rarest dominators (psy-owl hive)
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everybody welcome our surprise celebrity guest!! [the arm from arm & hammer hops out on stage and starts hammering people indiscriminately]
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a dog in a chamber deep underground. when there are no more tweets left to make, he will die. he's crying, this is the last one. bandit, no!
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each tweet is full of tiny little bones & one day the tiny people of the future will exhume our jokes to build even tinier people (to crush)
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your movie script is a lot like unicode in that it's got a bunch of stupid characters that will never show up on a screen
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scene in The Tetris Movie where the locusts eat the z-crops & the villagers are so famished they eat long blocks until their necks disappear
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teens building new species of teen out of every available resource. teens of moss and teens of ore, our old weapons can not harm them.
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that's sick as hell dog! [later, at veterinarian] "sorry, hell dog passed away last night" why wasn't i with him? the guilt will never leave
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who's a dork for being the preeminent Donald In Mathmagic Land Extended Canon scholar now? [escapes unscathed as my classmates die of Traps]
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Goofs: Beavis believes his existence to be that which he experiences rather than the blanket of darkness shrouding the infinity he does not.
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what's the "use tunnels & dreams" checkbox on googlemaps? how do i turn "slight inward toward memory of house with iron floors (toll shaft)"
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dude, don't name your kid that when he's got a speech impediment. how's he gonna make "a cool dino roar" with that awful rusted grate mouth
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FUTUREMAN HAS BUILT THE FONT OF BABEL. THE CASES TOWER ABOVE EVEN THE UPPEREST CASE WE CAN IMAGINE. THE OLD WORDS ARE SO BORING + STUPID NOW
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20-something learning to live & love as she tries to find patterns in a gale of blurry dreams to portray them as meaning in a 3rd person bio
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"in the past, primitive tribes used something called 'art' to promote their dearest products and brands" - future man, an ARG history major
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pursue creativity until you're too jaded to enjoy what you loved about it to begin with. keep believing there's some answer to life in art.
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an old achewood panel rotted away and philippe fell out. he wanders the site's php, begging to be let back in, but onstad, like god, is dead
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they're two different things, todd. you get FRIENDSNAILED in a SNAILZONE so you can wake your ASTRAL SNAILBODY from this WORLD IT'S DREAMING
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"anyone hear about this new ipad?" [jay leno pauses] "anyone hear anything at all?" [jay wanders the desolate cities. even the wind is gone]
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the celeb that exists only as an abstract now exists here in deeper abstraction. the celeb has tweeted you! in the distance, you have a body
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save cash at the grocer! fill veggies w/ helium until your voice hits the resonant frequency of the chains binding consciousness to the body
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nah dude that job offer is a scam, "ALL SPIDERS" don't have a social media guru opening but ~600 idiots fall for it every week and get eaten
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that north korean missile sure burns faster than the house+objects around me!! please rt i'm trapped in a fire & isn't seeing my tweets
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our petting zoo's "Meet Ryan Gosling" attraction is closed because his lawyers say a gosling is a baby goose not a rapidly growing sinkhole
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"It's terrible to be HOME, STUCK in an MS PAIN ADVENTURE" - Andrew Hussie, before getting booed off stage at a Multiple Sclerosis fundraiser
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Yelp > Novelty Las Vegas Replica On Las Vegas Strip: DOESN'T LOOK LIKE VEGAS. EVERY BUILDING IS THAT ONE BLACK PYRAMID SO IS HOTEL STAFF 0/5
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i love her BUTTE, but only PLATEAUNICALLY ;) [a tumbleweed made of bugs rolls by. they keep still, moved only by wind. are they dead? am i?]
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this is the wilhelm scream of pits. name any movie with a pit. this was that pit. name any of your family. i've pushed them into this pit.
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Your account may not be allowed to perform this action. Please close the page & forget you saw that "Refear this fear to your drones" button
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reversing a gif of a dude being hurt will heal him IRL but the Wound Spirit can't be tricked and it'll put you in a dog gif doing a violence
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