Ahmed

@UltAhmed

Joined June 2009
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  1. Pinned Tweet
    24 Jun 2016

    "A gentleman is a man who knows how to play the accordion, but he doesn't"

    1 reply 5 likes
  2. Retweeted
    May 24

    BREAKING: has decided to report the news.

    116 replies 979 retweets 6,671 likes
  3. May 23

    Just watched " :homecoming king". Vulnerable, hilarious, and all too close to home.

    3 likes
  4. Retweeted
    May 9

    The White House has announced Chet Americanman as the new director of the .

    427 replies 27,159 retweets 60,899 likes
  5. Retweeted
    May 7

    congrats to France on being less racist than we feared

    8 replies 687 retweets 2,451 likes
  6. Retweeted
    May 7

    🔴 - Emmanuel elected president of France (with 65.1% of the vote)

    1,052 replies 21,907 retweets 34,500 likes
  7. Retweeted
    Apr 28

    Also. Don't think I like cucumber water.

    1 retweet 2 likes
  8. Apr 16

    I call this piece "Randa's Sunday Best"

    3 likes
  9. Retweeted
    Mar 25

    Me: My friend has every single Pokémon. My mother: So he's a virgin

    1 reply 3 retweets 9 likes
  10. Retweeted
    Mar 19

    How I made Slide

    2,645 replies 156,798 retweets 353,485 likes
  11. Mar 1

    Watch IMMEDIATELY.

  12. Feb 26

    Ish brings his girlfriend to dinner. I bet my mom never expected to have this many white women in the house ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    6 likes
  13. Feb 18

    "The grand am is a great car. My sister had one. Her husband had their son steal it while they were meeting with divorce lawyers"

    3 likes
  14. Feb 18

    "We're coming up on west cherry street. Where my daughter used to live with her high school graphic arts teacher"

    2 likes
  15. Feb 18

    This Uber driver is like a local hillbilly tour guide

    3 likes
  16. Feb 15

  17. Feb 15

    Gabriel is consistently not good enough for Arsenal

    1 reply
  18. Feb 15

    Alexis hasn't seemed too happy

  19. Retweeted
    Feb 15

    if you got flowers today it means homeboy didn't pay the extra $10 for guaranteed delivery. unlucky but i'm sure he's still a good guy

    2 retweets 18 likes
  20. Retweeted
    Feb 5

    ADVISOR: u going to Trump's Inauguration? BUSH: Doctor said I can't ADVISOR: u wanna hit that super Bowl? BUSH:

    375 replies 64,737 retweets 159,548 likes
  21. Jan 30

    LT: I'm unashamed.

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