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  1. Pinned Tweet
    May 19

    Just paid $70 so you can watch my film for free online. If you wouldn't mind writing a quick review on IMDB, message me and I'll send you the link and password.

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  2. Retweeted

    I have asked boys, to send me photos of them fucking other girls. None. Jealous whores are ruining it for the real bad girls. These boys don’t listen. Everyone is cancelled.

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  3. Retweeted
    7 hours ago

    honestly im proud of the president for getting pussy

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  4. Retweeted
    14 hours ago

    [first day as a juror] *applying lipstick* which way is the hung jury

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  5. Jul 16

    At this point, I'm just watching the in-flight safety demonstrations out of politeness. – at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX)

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  6. Retweeted

    I believe fans can be most effective by: -buying music / merch / concert tix -streaming ur faves on DSPs while u sleep. or whenever really just throw it on mute & keep it on repeat so the streams build up! -purchasing PHYSICAL copies And if ur low on $$$: -word of mouth

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  7. Retweeted
    Jul 15

    Maybe all the problems were having now are due to going this long without a Fantastic Four movie. We used to make new ones every 4-6 months, completely different casts and everything. Things felt a lot more stable.

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  8. Jul 16

    Was trying to remember the phrase "gaslighting" and the best I could come up with was that my friend's boyfriend was "red light districting" her.

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  9. Retweeted
    Jul 15

    it is inherently, objectively noble to make content that doesn't go viral

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  10. Retweeted
    Jul 15

    This clip from the Fox show Beat Shazam is the bleakest thing on television. Darker than Euphoria or Chernobyl. I implore you to watch the entire clip

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  11. Retweeted
    15 Jul 2016
    Replying to
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  12. Retweeted
    Jul 14

    Figured out an easy way to cure phone addiction. All you do is go to jail

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  13. Jul 14

    Hollywood's biggest kept secret is that women over 50 are fuckin' babes.

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  14. Retweeted
    14 Jul 2016

    Humor is subjective. What's funny to one man is another man's funeral.

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  15. Retweeted

    the fast and the furious is older than ICE and DHS so don’t talk to me about american institutions

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  16. Retweeted
    Jul 11

    a disabled man explains why you shouldn't be calling him "brave"

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  17. Retweeted
    Jul 7

    a story for people that get told to apologize for jokes

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  18. Retweeted
    13 Jul 2018

    I'd like to start a cult but I don't know if I can afford a ranch.

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  19. Retweeted
    25 Sep 2018

    Harley Quinn cosplay is the new lower back tattoo.

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  20. Retweeted
    Jul 10

    Sex traffic, the worst kind of traffic to be stuck in

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  21. Retweeted
    Jul 11

    Podcasts are cool but has anybody ever thought of shutting the fuck up?

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