Stephen Watt

Boy, computers really jumped the shark when they got so complex you had to pay close attention to what other people in your area of interest are doing

I've met a few interesting people in my life after becoming a criminal. Thankfully (or perhaps by the very definition of "interesting"), none of them were computer professionals.

Did you know: when you pull out your Macbook and the backlit Apple logo starts to glow, it's actually a high powered Bat-Signal that summons other whitehats in the area to start brainstorming for third track security talk ideas?

I wonder if there's a better indicator of the extent of a modern nation's decline than popular enthusiasm levels for watching unboxing videos

Tap your keyboards rapidly when I tweet to stimulate dopamine release from the synaptic vesicles. If you produce enough to overpower my nihilism temporarily, I stand a chance of rising once again and re-assuming my ultimate form.

I was in prison while you all were learning Twitter influencing theory and temporarily toppling middle eastern autocracies. Now please kindly check your privilege and retweet/like to amplify my original content vitriol.

Random Monday morning shoutout to Raj Rajaratnam for being the real O Ghee

Learning to use Twitter is harder than picking up assembly before C. When I was 14, I could start a firestorm on Efnet with a single insult. Now, as a C-level adult cyber criminal pseudo-celebrity, when I shoot out a zinger on Twitter, it's just... *crickets*. So depressing.

Pretty smart move of Beto to let the world know about his being a member of CDC.... that way when oppo research tries to dig up dirt from his past, nobody can accuse him of being a hacker!

Today in how U.S. customs processes ex-felons re-entering the country: 1. Badger subject w "Your face looks like it hates me" to precipitate actionable conflict 2. Loud interrogation of criminal history and Q's like, "So do you think you did anything wrong?" amid other travelers

Hi @SpotifyCares - I see yet another new Kanye single in the middle of my Release Radar playlist, alongside other artists that I actually listen to and follow. Please find a way to exclude me from the Kardashian corp. welfare/payola service I have unwittingly opted in to...

Why do my diss tweets always get liked by people whose bios clearly indicate they're part of the target audience? Do I need to start replying to myself and tagging/calling people out?

We get it, cyber security researcher. Your job is "breaking things." Your carefully polished edginess and your understated sense of ironic humor are racing at a breathless pace to win favorable impressions from the Redditors who look up to high-profile bug bounty Chads...

In my imaginary Se7en reboot I'm desperately trying to figure out which victim @KimDotcom would be. One, or possibly six or seven versions of himself, depending on my mood when you ask me. Or maybe even eight or nine if I'm allowed to add chicanery and snitching to the list...

Random (externally prompted) memory: that one time I was prohibited from using a computer and facing a potentially enormous, controversial, high-profile, precedent-setting computer crime sentence and @EFF never bothered to return my voice mail imploring consultation. #deardiary

Pinned tweets are the kind of feature you get when you let Ariana Grande design your social network