looking back now it’s so fucking funny that you had all these families who worshiped the duggars and their way of life and all these daughters were in the hall with their parents babies just like... fuck this i’m tired
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what they counted on was that their enormous families were made possible by the unpaid labor of their daughters
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to be absolutely clear, i love my siblings & i’m really glad i got the chance to raise them but i would have liked to get raised too & experienced both childhood and individuality
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i turned 18 & realized i had never, ever made a decision where only my needs were considered, but i was expected to go out into the world and have a future with no support
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how was i supposed to know what i wanted to do when i literally had not been allowed to want things, or develop interests, or plan a future that didn’t include getting married??? whew
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twitter was the first place where almost a decade ago i found a community of people with similar experiences to me. it's the place i learned & evolved into the person i am right now. hearing from everyone replying about this topic is reminding me of that & i feel really grateful.
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i know it's very top of mind for many of us because of the recent Josh Duggar arrest, but I hope you're all taking care of yourselves post-parentification. it can be easy to be so sad about it, you forget to live. but I hope you're finding joy & hope & healing in your lives.
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Im always disoriented when people who don't know better are like "idk how _(big family)_ parents do it" and I'm like "lol you think the *parents* are raising all those kids?"
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i think the worst part for me was realizing that it was the STRATEGY. you were CREATED for labor. your existence is about how “big of a help” you’re going to be in raising a passel of kids. and my parents would say it, too. this was the plan all along.
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My childhood in a tweet.

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i am so sorry, but we made it this far, eh?
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