Tristan Cuschieri

Keygens have the best music.

When you start shutting your shit down for the day and realise you had 18 console windows open...

"Just be a cat. The ladies dig that." - dating advice just received

Murphy, my sister, and my dad can all touch their noses with their tongues. I'm telling you, it runs in the family.

back off get your own sandwich

Rest in peace, Chris.

Does a highschool crush on Brody Dalle ever really end? I mean, really...

So Ireland dropped the blasphemy charge against Stephen Fry. I guess nobody could get in touch with god for a comment?

Latest Windows update is called Creators' Update, bundled w/ a password manager called Keeper. Someone at Microsoft is a Terry Goodkind fan.

What program do Jedi use to open PDF files? ... Adobe-wan Kenobi.

Still too much fucking fibreglass in my skin.

Opened Netflix, clicked the search box, typed "netflix", and got mad at the TV for not playing Star Trek. Now I'm watching Tears of the Sun.

Way too much fibreglass in my body right now.

Video paused on dude's face on screen. Walk away. Come back, find Murphy licking the dude's face. He freezes, then licks his paw. Casual AF.

Murphy starts singing his feline opera at 7:00 every morning, like clockwork. He's like a fucking chicken.

Nobody ever believes me when I tell them about how Murphy comes when his name is called. He thinks he's a dog.

I hate having to tell users that their data is lost and can't be restored. I hate having to say "I told you so." Backup your data, folks.

"Where are your pants? I told you to put your pants on first. Go put some pants on." #ThingsYouHearAtTheHospital

I'd like to see Netflix fund a series based on the Sword of Truth book series. So much potential for badassery there.

Ok... MeUndies makes the best underwear I've ever cradled my junk in. Wish I could say I was paid to say that. They're just really good.