There’s something comforting and necessary about knowing/hearing that what you feel and fear is true, but I’ve always felt most productive and like I have the most agency when I’m with and around those who figured out how to do the work in spite of these things.
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I was miserable the last few years of grad school. What got me through was an interdisciplinary writing group, mostly comprised of grad students of color. We were overwhelmed but because we had to explain our work to one another I think we got more done & felt less alone.
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Similarly, as a new prof., I felt isolated in a dept. that wasn’t just predominantly white but with a social life organized around kids and partners. What kept me from being too isolated was collaborating with other scholars, outside my dept. And that was before social media.
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My teaching has ALWAYS been important to me. My students are interesting to me and I know we gain a lot from one another. But if I don’t write, I feel isolated and lopsided. The very act of it, regardless of what I’m writing, feels collaborative, even when I’m doing it alone.
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I don’t mean it’s always easy or that it feels great. But the work of my research (writing, reading, poking around archives) helps me feel connected. And it did even in grad school.
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I’ve been thinking about this more & more because I know a lot of grad students and early career scholars are coming up post PRESUMED INCOMPETENT. I’ve been thinking of the best way to thrive, even when you know many in the academy feel you should just be grateful to be here.
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It’s very simple to say “do your work” and I know it’s not, but i think sometimes Black women need permission NOT to try to save everyone, esp. when they are getting their work out in those early years. I think diversity work can meet the needs of community but so can writing.
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What that looked like for me was the senior woman (white) who ASKED to work with a junior person on a journal issue. I didn’t have prestige or any real academic currency, but she wasn’t caught up in that.
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I get questions, especially from junior TT faculty, about NEEDING to address lack of diversity in their departments in part because they feel so isolated. I think it’s up to DGSs, Department chairs, and deans to make sure that they are protected while they are doing this work.
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It can look like facilitating opportunities that will help these scholars build relationships within their professions so they can get their work done.
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What I hate seeing/reading about is Black grad students and faculty doing diversity work for their institutions while their white peers are doing the work they trained to do and that will get them tenure.
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(I’ll note here that while I know some of my individual colleagues dismiss my diversity publications/work, my institution recognizes them. We talked early on about why it mattered, where to publish, and what it meant for my career and research agenda).
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Sometimes, because Black academics don’t wear their anxieties in a way that’s legible to white academics, their needs go unmet. In short, no one thinks to support and mentor them and that compounds feelings of isolation.
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