Hold up this version has MUCH better lyrics.https://youtu.be/pbr_O2UVOig?list=PLLxn_bmuOqC5reY9EM1w5IwBEahuz37SF …
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"Here's your chance to make me feel awkward and wish I had never called this place. But you walked by your college dorm with hippie Ernie.
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I'm calling to say I want to take his place. This phone call concerns hippie Ernie, that Woodstock brain, that acid face!"
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"You walked by the computer center with drugged out Ernie: I'm calling to say I could take his place. Now, he's a hippie. I'm straight!"
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"I've watched you walk around and meet boyfriends that you thought were so deep, but I maintain that if your new boyfriends were so great,
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couldn't they take this place, and take it straight? I'm straight! I'm straight honey! I'm straight and I want to take his place."
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"You walk around Cambridge in the night time. You walk around Boyleston in the morning. You were down on 8th Street in New York.
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And none of the boyfriends come up to my standard. Cause I'm straight!" This is the anthem of a guy on his way to shoot up a campus.
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I love the detail that he sees her walk by the computer center, presumably watching from inside. This is like 1971. That's a great self own.
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And the nerdy "I maintain that if all your boyfriends were so great..." The polished version of this song seems sincere, but this is parody
End of conversation
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