Torn Afart

@tornafart

Brooklyn, NY
Participa desde dezembro de 2017

Tweets

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  1. Tweet Fixado
    29 de jul de 2018

    Police: Be on the lookout. Suspect has blonde hair, blue eyes... and stands at about 6 feet tall... Me, 5’11: Aww thanks

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  2. 25 de abr

    I don’t have an excuse for being shitty anymore

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  3. 25 de abr

    You ever recorded yourself singing along to a song on headphones?

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  4. 21 de abr

    I won’t forget that you forgot me

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  5. retweetou
    19 de abr

    you enter my mansion. inside, you find a room labelled "the clown room". you enter inside it to find only a single mirror. you fall to your knees as i cackle maniacally

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  6. retweetou
    20 de abr

    Are you there God? It’s-a me Mario

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  7. retweetou
    20 de ago de 2018

    Her: come over Me: I’m busy Her: my parents aren’t home ;) Me: I know Her: What Me: I’m hanging with your parents Her: What Me: Craig says fuck u lmao

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  8. retweetou
    17 de abr
    Em resposta a

    what a time to slowly die

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  9. retweetou
    23 de mar de 2017

    sorry, i cant hang out tomorrow because that’s too short notice and any time after that because that’s too far away to plan for

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  10. retweetou
    10 de abr
    Em resposta a

    I heard a joke once. Didn’t care for it!

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  11. 8 de abr

    Can’t tell if twitter is really bad today or if I just haven’t smoked weed for a while

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  12. retweetou
    30 de jul de 2018

    SURELY NOTHING BAD CAN HAPPEN FROM ASSUMING THAT MY ENTIRE LIFE WILL ASCEND TO PERFECTION ONCE MY CURRENT PROJECT IS COMPLETED THAT IS REALISTIC ITS HEALTHY AND FINE

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  13. retweetou
    13 de dez de 2014

    *travels back to 1930's* okay and that's why you've got to kill hitler FBI: wait so you can just look at naked lady videos anytime you want

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  14. 23 de mar

    Apparently Spotify thinks I should listen to Blue Thinder by Galaxie 500 every single day

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  15. retweetou
    13 de jul de 2013

    Life is like soccer because my mom signed me up for it and expects me to try my best even though I hate fucking soccer.

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  16. 14 de mar

    Executioner: What would you like for you last meal? Me, lactose intolerant: A gallon of milk.

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  17. 12 de mar

    I feel sorry for people who don't smoke marijuana. When they wake up in the morning, that's as anxious as they're going to feel all day.

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  18. 7 de mar

    A show about a happy-go-lucky guy who notices depressing content gets more likes so he keeps posting it until it convinces him to kill himself

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  19. retweetou
    15 de fev
    Em resposta a

    Yo mate can you watch my girlfriend for me while I’m out of town? I’ve been looking for someone I can trust

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  20. 15 de fev

    She: I love you, but I don’t want to marry you. Me: That’s what she said. She: How is that what she said? Me: How is it not? She: There was no possible innuendo or double entendre in what I said. Me: That’s what she said. She: This is why I don’t want to marry you.

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  21. retweetou
    10 de fev

    A Big Account likes my reply: I'm ecstatic. My family notices I'm smiling more, and even making conversation with them. Then one day, reviewing my prized like, I notice the OP liked every other reply in the thread. This causes what my family will later refer to as “the incident."

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