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  1. Retweeted
    6 hours ago

    to deploy the "o" word to describe a president, the Times editorial board had to synchronize sticking keys into locks, nuclear sub style

  2. Retweeted
    6 hours ago

    Look I just like looking at pictures of fries, don't care what order they're in

  3. Retweeted
    16 hours ago

    yes there are dumb questions

  4. 6 hours ago

    The AAAANIMAL THE AAAANIMAL TRAPPED TRAPPED TRAPPED TIL THE CAGE IS FULL

  5. 8 hours ago

    Ah, time to sit down and eat food. What shall I look at

  6. Retweeted
    8 hours ago

    *to the tune of the lyric teenage wasteland from the who song baba o riley* tv's batman

  7. Retweeted
    8 hours ago

    Hey comedy Twitter, I made this page: you can open in all your other tabs when taking screenshots 😮🐙

  8. Retweeted
    8 hours ago
    Replying to

    The Ditty people told me “’Good Day’ was written by our co-founder & CEO Matt Serletic.”

  9. 8 hours ago

    Is the music bed in the "one thicc bih" meme from a real song, please help me my family is dying

  10. Retweeted
    27 Oct 2016
    Wahlid Mohammad's post on Vine
    Wahlid Mohammad's post on Vine
    View on Vine
  11. 8 hours ago

    My friend from college called me out for stealing valor

  12. 10 hours ago

    We all had this guy in our college anime club

  13. Retweeted
    11 hours ago

    Fuck steel, kill guns, marry germs

  14. Retweeted
    10 hours ago
    Replying to

    me: I'm unstoppable, invincible, will power unbeatable Twitter: HERE'S A THREAD OF MY FAVORITE VINES me

  15. Retweeted
    11 hours ago

    looks like you're all talking about E3... personally I'm at E4 today but that's cool, I'm sure it's interesting

  16. 11 hours ago

    That little boy was named Prison Planet. And now you know... The Rest of the Story.

  17. Retweeted
    Jun 9

    y'all say the B stands for Babadook but the thing from It Follows is the real bisexual icon because it's apparently invisible to most people

  18. Retweeted
    Jun 8

    Me, 19: I like Howard Dean Boomer: you'll get more conservative when you're older and richer Me, 33 (richer): SEIZE THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION

  19. 12 hours ago

    Everyone slow the fuck down I'm almost caught up on Twitter

  20. 12 hours ago
    Replying to

    This is a fucking carnival game of a food. Guess at which precise second the cheese is neither cold cum nor an IED

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