This is why I prefer traditional courtship. It's a formality either way, so being formal seems appropriate
1. Could be a cultural difference between the UK and US. I don’t know a lot about the history of courtship, but anthropologists in 40s identified differences between US/UK in the US girls made the first move while UK the man was meant to make the move.
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2. During the war, this led to dating problems between US servicemen and British women, bc nobody did anything when they were meant to. US servicemen saw British women as cold while British servicemen saw US women as too forward.
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3. Even as late as the 1970s, you see people like C. Hitchens writing about how refreshingly forward American women were about sex. But I suspect the deep behaviour of humans is not so different and probably not so different between individuals either.
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4. Women have an incentive to keep dating secret to maintain the appearance of not being sluts, and also to conceal what they’re doing from other men they’re cheating on (planning to cheat on).
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Neither UK or US based, but your point stands nonetheless. 4. might be where I was getting at in some sense, just less explicit. I dont think it has to be deliberate malice, overtly planned and such.
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I could imagine the sensation of dating at all, focusing your attention on one particular man, to some degree feels like cheating to women, in that their starting point is something like feeling attached to *all* men.
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It's easy to paint a dark picture of this, but I dont think it is any more evil than a spider building a web
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It feels dark, becuase this is not the socially acceptable way to talk about it. Whether it’s “evil”—whether evil exists or not—is an open question for humanity right now. We are different to spiders. We do seem to have intentionality and an ability to alter our environment.
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What’s your nationality,
@egg_report? And where are you? Your syntax seems native English speaker to me. - 4 more replies
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