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tomxhart's profile
Tom X Hart
Tom X Hart
Tom X Hart
@tomxhart

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Tom X Hart

@tomxhart

medium.com/@TXHart
Joined March 2018

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    1. Tom X Hart‏ @tomxhart Jul 30

      I presume that photography is good way to pick up women because: a. It appeals to female vanity, and b. Women like being ordered around, and photography allows you to do this in a way that is not threatening, but still commanding. “Hips out, and hold it...”

      1 reply 0 retweets 9 likes
    2. Randy‏ @egg_report Jul 30
      Replying to @tomxhart

      More importantly, "pictures", camera & the lens, is more "real" than vision. Being told "youre beautiful" is 1/10th of being photographed. Physicality validates. knowing that "he really sees me", much more efficient if tactile.

      2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
    3. Tom X Hart‏ @tomxhart Jul 30
      Replying to @egg_report

      Is it, though? Isn’t it that the attractiveness is implied by the selection for a photo. Women don’t generally like being told directly that they’re beautiful. The photograph implies this without making it overt. I don’t understand the tactile bit. Could you explain?

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
    4. Randy‏ @egg_report Jul 30
      Replying to @tomxhart

      Not actually tactile, but a sensation that is indistinguishable from a tactile experience. "So real I could almost reach out and touch it", in that sense. I think the camera works psychologically as the Big Other, the great eye, Sauron, the ultimate existential validation.

      1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
    5. Randy‏ @egg_report Jul 30
      Replying to @egg_report @tomxhart

      I dont think it's indirect at all. We measure self-awareness in animals by their ability too detect reflections. Being in front of a camera forces immediate self-identification with the body because the lens, and the photographers eyes works as a series of reflecting mirrors

      2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
    6. Tom X Hart‏ @tomxhart Jul 30
      Replying to @egg_report

      I think flirtation is almost always indirect. You have to imply that someone is attractive or that you want to have sex with them. The camera allows you to do this. Being objectified by the camera is sexually exciting, probably. Is that what you’re getting at?

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
    7. Randy‏ @egg_report Jul 30
      Replying to @tomxhart

      I'm (at least trying to) get at the mechanics of how it is sexually exciting. I think there is a great deal more to it

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
    8. Tom X Hart‏ @tomxhart Jul 30
      Replying to @egg_report

      Yes, it’s difficult. I suspect that decisions about sex are made quickly before speech, but our conciousness and language create post-hoc explanations and this is what flirting is. This is why I “know” I’m going to sleep w/ someone long before it happens, before speaking.

      1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
    9. Randy‏ @egg_report Jul 30
      Replying to @tomxhart

      This is why I prefer traditional courtship. It's a formality either way, so being formal seems appropriate

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      Tom X Hart‏ @tomxhart Jul 30
      Replying to @egg_report

      I understand what you mean by that sentiment...but is that more in theory than practice? It’s hard to say what constitutes a “tradition”, since we’ve had about 500 yrs of dissolving tradition. Did your girl have a chaperon on your last date!? ;-)

      2:35 AM - 30 Jul 2018
      • 2 Likes
      • Anarchic Evolist Randy
      1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Randy‏ @egg_report Jul 30
          Replying to @tomxhart

          I'm probably wrong about it not being indirect at all, to the degree that I am "aiming" at the opposite. I think "it's better to think about it" as direct, rather than indirect, for pragmatic or moral/aestethic reasons.

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        3. Randy‏ @egg_report Jul 30
          Replying to @egg_report @tomxhart

          But actually yes, on several occations - but indirect chaperones.

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        4. Randy‏ @egg_report Jul 30
          Replying to @egg_report @tomxhart

          I dont really date any more, but I have experienced many times meeting up at a cafe, for example, where my date would have secretly, inconspicuously placed a friend a few tables over, admitting to it either at on the date itself or a short while later

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        5. The Logos of Post-Irony‏ @jbthazard Jul 30
          Replying to @egg_report @tomxhart

          *popcorn consumption intensifies*

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        6. Tom X Hart‏ @tomxhart Jul 30
          Replying to @jbthazard @egg_report

          Yes, I think women informally chaperon. However, that is different to a formal situation where the neighbours would say, “Did you hear! Julia’s girl went out without a chaperon.” *scandal*. Chaperons tended to be older, not peers—some functional overlap, but different.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        7. Randy‏ @egg_report Jul 30
          Replying to @tomxhart @jbthazard

          My immediate impression is that what's changed isnt so much the role of chaperon, but the date itself. If always had the sense that being in public for these things, to women, are a neccesary evil, and that they would prefer the dating to happen as much as possible in "secret".

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        8. Randy‏ @egg_report Jul 30
          Replying to @egg_report @tomxhart @jbthazard

          In a sense I think the chaperoning happens in secret to avoid the same sense of reality that the camera invokes

          1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
        9. Randy‏ @egg_report Jul 30
          Replying to @egg_report @tomxhart @jbthazard

          this might in great part be colored by the particular women who find people like me attractive, but I think there is some degree universality to it

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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