Tommy Shellberg

@tommyshellberg

Automattician, writer, phat beat producer.

Hamburg, Germany
unsplash.com/tshellberg
Joined March 2014
18 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. Apr 21

    Reporter: How does it feel knowing that your husband saved your life? My wife: He wrote that question for you, didn't he?

    1 like
  2. Feb 8

    Stranger Things Season 1 Soundtrack Re-imagined

    1 like
  3. Jan 20

    Me: Oh cool, I can watch the Inauguration live on Twitter *clicks button* Vid: "Praise Jesus..." Me(angrily closes video): Godammit.

    4 likes
  4. 28 Dec 2016
    Replying to

    shit looks like a DJ Khaled album cover

  5. 1 Dec 2016

    Nürnberg Weihnachtsmarkt. Totally packed but a pretty special place.

    3 retweets 6 likes
  6. 28 Nov 2016

    The best metaphor I have for my wife's farts would be a naughty child attempting to silently open their parents' two liter bottle of cola

    1 like
  7. 27 Nov 2016

    Taught my taxi driver the term "flip a bitch". He thinks it's hilarious and keeps doing u-turns but it's not funny I'm late for work

    1 like
  8. 25 Nov 2016

    was quite beautiful though. Danke

    3 retweets 4 likes
  9. 25 Nov 2016

    My apartment's been under construction for months and my neighbors get Christmas fucking laser lights

    2 likes
  10. 25 Nov 2016

    A little Bavarian girl left her Kuscheltier in the train. This adventure just took a dark turn 😣😣😣

    2 likes
  11. 25 Nov 2016

    What kind of parents allow such a youngster to travel alone? Can't be more than a year old!@!!

    1 like
  12. 25 Nov 2016

    Sucking up all the Internet by watching more interesting train rides on YouTube.

    1 like
  13. 25 Nov 2016

    A stage-hogging super woke Thespian after adding minutes of extra time to their monologue: "AM I BEING REFRAINED?"

    2 replies . 1 like
  14. 25 Nov 2016

    Europe has high standards for journalism

    1 like
  15. 25 Nov 2016

    I keep thinking someone brought a rattlesnake but it turns out people are just playing Yahtzee. I don't know which one is more irresponsible

    1 like
  16. 25 Nov 2016

    Imagine if the same rule applied to airline pilots after going through turbulence. "What? Would I like to take over? Are you shitting me?"

    1 like
  17. 25 Nov 2016

    There seems to be an unwritten rule about not being able criticize the car driver as a passenger. Response is always "you wanna drive then?"

    1 reply . 1 like
  18. 25 Nov 2016

    Don't think I'm uncultured for using "neighbor' instead of 'neighbour', I just happened to hit the character limit and something had to go.

    1 like
  19. 25 Nov 2016

    It suddenly dawns on me that if I can hear my neighbor urinating in the middle of the night she can definitely hear my super loud bath farts

    3 likes
  20. 25 Nov 2016

    Unfortunately, he didn't get the memo about using headphones so we all hear his wife saying, "I don't understand you!!!!"

    2 likes

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