@tomjmac

checking the tape

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2010年12月加入
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  1. 1 小時前

    I don’t know what Pete’s chances are of winning the Dem. nomination, but we should all rejoice if he’s able to finally bring these slimy fucks to the justice they so earnestly deserve.

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  2. 3月24日

    Most people don’t realize that Arby’s is an acronym for “Almost Roast Beef, You Slobs”

    2 個喜歡
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  3. 3月13日

    The first stock photo website to implement a “not stupid” filtering option gets my business for the rest of time.

    2 個喜歡
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  4. 2月27日

    Is there anything more humbling than being confronted with your own big stupid fat face after accidentally swiping left on Instagram? No. There is not.

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  5. 2月5日

    Honestly, fuck personified brands using pretend depression as a marketing tool. Shame on anyone associated with this toxicity.

    I can’t do this anymore
    1 則轉推 5 個喜歡
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  6. 1月31日

    After Trump leaves office, I say we force him and every member of his administration to spend 1 year in confinement together, like the Seinfeld series finale.

    1 個喜歡
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  7. 1月9日

    Majority of Americans: “Trump poses a unique threat to this country. He is mentally and emotionally unfit for the Office of President.” Dems: “Don’t worry. We have an endless supply of cartoonish ‘coastal elite’ skeletons to combat this crisis.”

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  8. 2018年9月4日

    Don’t mind me. I’ll just be forever laughing about how racists don’t know how to boycott a thing.

    4 個喜歡
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  9. 2018年9月3日

    We’re like three endorsements away from Trump supporters being completely unclothed and hungry.

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  10. 2018年9月3日

    Waiting for Great Clips to support the LeBron James public school thing so hundreds of raging morons will rip their hair out and tweet about it.

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  11. 2018年8月25日

    Honestly, no one understands Trump’s mind better than . He’s consistently predicted—with a frightening degree of accuracy—the words and actions of our deeply damaged President.

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  12. 2018年8月23日

    The “law and order” President believes that doing crimes together is a bond more sacred than the pursuit of truth and justice.

    "It's called flipping and it almost ought to be illegal." President Trump is suggesting that it should be illegal for people facing prosecution to co-operate with the government in exchange for a reduced sentence.
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  13. 2018年4月23日

    …and once I called china and china is on the other side of the world and I just called them to say hi can you believe that and how far away is your country and is it close to china because maybe next time when I call china I can call you on my other phone and say hi to you too…

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  14. 2018年4月23日

    Trump, breathlessly: …and these are my phones and there’s two phones and I talk on them and my desk looks empty but I do so much work on it you don’t even know and I do a lot of work actually because I can call two people at the same time if I wanted to and this is my chair…

    Trump shows Macron his phones
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  15. 2018年2月8日

    My. God. Lack of self-awareness has become a national epidemic.

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  16. 2018年2月7日

    was having a great time crunchin doritos super loud with my bros but the neighbor lady complained to the landlord

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  17. 2018年2月4日

    Tom Brady looks like he’s here to buy your rundown but beloved ski resort.

    4 個喜歡
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  18. 2018年1月16日

    Purdue has two centers modeled off the custom player I made for every basketball video game I played in high school.

    21 個喜歡
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  19. 2018年1月13日

    What is happening in Hawaii right now?

    Ballistic missile threat inbound to Hawaii. Seek immediate shelter. This is not a drill.
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