1) Be really honest about when you need some space. It doesn’t have to be physical space, it can be ‘put on your headphones and do your own thing even tho you’re literally on the same sofa’.
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2) Equally, don’t take it personally if and when your partner needs some space. If you’re out of sync with your moods, eg you feel chatty and they feel antisocial, it’s not a reflection on your or the relationship.
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3) Schedule doing stuff together in the evenings, eg ‘let’s rent a film tonight’. That way you know you have together time coming and it’s less frustrating if they’re not feeling sociable during the day.
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4) Respect ‘working from home’, even when it doesn’t appear like they’re working. They slack off at the office too. Just cause they’re taking a break, doesn’t mean they’re available for whatever.
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5) Without a commute, you both have more time for chores! Yay! Split the domestic load accordingly. Both being at home can be quite a shocking reveal of some gendered issues around housework, especially in these extra cleany times.
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6) Beware HANGRY. I am very irritable when hungry, and if Dan is at home I do sometimes snap at him. A timely banana can save an entire day.
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7) Don’t get pissy if the other person checks in on your handwashing etc. They’re scared for both of you and it’s better to say something than nothing. Just reply with “yep, you?”, make it a team effort. Also sometimes no they totally did not wash their hands, busted.
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8) Lack of exercise or nervous energy can also cause arguments (same as the school holidays with a sibling), so burn it off if you can. I like to put on music and dance around the room in a tragically middle-aged fashion. Or go clean the kitchen cupboards, or air box.
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9) Two-player games. Currently we’re playing local multiplayer of a game called Two Spies (both need an iPhone). Or Overcooked on Switch. Or get out your old Scrabble or Battleships set. The couple that plays together etc etc
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10) If your pets are not used to one or both of you being home, the bastards might betray you and show more favour to your partner regardless of who cleans the litter. You should definitely take this personally, the ungrateful shits
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(I have no idea if that last one is also true of kids but probably)
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If I think of any more I’ll add them, but those are the main ones I’ve learned over a decade of us both being freelance. Good luck!
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For lulz, here’s a photo of Dan (loves rollercoasters) and me (hates rollercoasters) ‘compromising’ on the worst rollercoaster everpic.twitter.com/AOy4jAAop0
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End of conversation
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