Who’s this guy using a camera from 2002 to catch the event?
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paddles
@thom_dorke
I like my wife and my daughter and my dog and music and magazines. reluctantly tweet about Palace
investigating crimeJoined April 2009
paddles’s posts
West Ham singing “Too Shit for England” at Zaha who’s not even English yet has more caps for England than both Noble and Antonio combined 🤦🏻♂️
Parish: Roy, just wanted to let you know we’re keen to talk to Lampard.
Roy: Fantastic!! I think he would be a great signing and just the sort of young midfielder we need.
#cpfc
Someone in a WhatsApp group just said Graham Potter and his back room staff look like the sort of blokes who go on Robot Wars.
Yeah. Good one. Proper funny that. Can’t stop laughing.
That tossed Salad looks like I made it for lunch on Monday in a bid to have a healthy week. Got sidelined and left it in my bag, which I carted around town until Weds when I decided, “it can’t be that bad if I have it now.”
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The moment Walton said he thinks it should be a goal was enough for me to know it shouldn’t have been
I mean... you ran the club into administration, lied to the fans to look good, and required fans to pay off the debt to the St John’s Ambulance... but you do you Simon.
Just a reminder, the Palace captain, missed pre-season because he went on holiday and had to self isolate, having finally got himself fit got sent off on his first start missing 3 games, is already on 4 bookings, and now breaking covid rules by going to parties. Absolute dick.
My 5 year old changed herself this morning and is apparently excited to watch Palace.
Julian Speroni has played a massive part in keeping Palace in the championship when in admin. He’s played a massive part in getting us promoted. He’s played a massive part in keeping us in the Premier League. If he wants to gift Liverpool a goal then I’m not going to stop him
is the strike the reason I'm on a short formed train that no one announced?
Willow just came running downstairs ... “Daddy! Did you know signed your book?”
Yes, I did. Do you know who Michael Rosen is?
“No.” And she ran off.
I don’t think anyone realises the quality of that Benteke goal... he’s running backwards and sticks a volley back in to the bottom corner.
Mad to think 15 years later Neil Shipperly was wanking in a white van
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29/05/04: We beat West Ham at the Millennium Stadium to secure promotion to the Premier League.
To celebrate, we are dedicating this weekend to the 2003/04 play-offs starting with the first leg at Selhurst tonight!
Facebook & YouTube
8pm
#CPFC | #RedandBlueRewindAt the age of 22 Shearer has 23 career goals as a striker. Age 23 as a winger Zaha has 20...
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I retired 10 years ago and still only have one less assist than Zaha! twitter.com/jacklemaitre/s
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Used to go drinking and running with my neighbour for 2 years before I found out his name. I even went round to help when him and his wife split up.
Turned out we had the same name
Palace hit the bar. Hit the post. Had a goal disallowed and missed a one on one but apparently we’re now not creating enough? Or all the things to throw at palace. Creating enough isn’t one of them
They’re not his PR team though, are they? They work for different departments that are used to help educate Londoners. They don’t work for him. Anyway, when do you start with your policies?
Fans saying Jules coming on should depend on the match, because £4m is at stake. Get to fuck. Money we never see as fans. Football is about guys like Jules. He deserves respect like no other at Palace.
Let’s not forget, Hennesey has:
1) refused to play for a club to force a transfer
2) been called one of the “laziest trainers” by a colleague of his
3) made a nazi sign in a photo.
4) is shit.
He’s actually pretty indefensible
Wait till Monday
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What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to your club? 
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Where can I report the racism of Newcastle fans wearing Saudi Arabian costumes please?
FFS Wilf. Well I guess this means I’ve got to find a different name for a boy.
Anyone who wants to sell, seems to think they’d get a cut of the money. Players like Eze are what makes football enjoyable
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Newcastle are reportedly set to offer Crystal Palace £45m for Ebere Eze this summer.
Should Palace take the offer, or keep the midfielder and hope he returns to his pre-injury form?
Clinton Morrison on good form on the telly. When asked about Guaita signing... “I could have told you that 3 weeks ago.”
Twist: the 3 guys were part of her family
We literally gifted them a goal and didn’t attack for 80 minutes. It couldn’t have got any fucking easier
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Hodgson: 'We didn't make life easy for them.'
Anti penguin rhetoric. We need to be better as a club
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As good as your point is, you’ve seemingly asked thousands of fans to give you a loan for the best part of a season to bail you out...
Jeez. £50m + for a RB with one full season under his belt, making him the most expensive English player and we’re all mugging off Parish.
Things we do to get someone to stay
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After a successful trial, Chimaechi Eze (Ebere’s Brother) has joined the club on a one-year deal.
@CPFC #CPFC
It's February 2018 and Amber Rudd has called for the 1954th recount of the Hastings election.
Lads, if anyone knows of any one in the Coulsdon area who’s likely to be alone, or not able to cook on Christmas Day, give me a shout.
I’ll have more than enough Turkey and trimmings that I can drop off to someone if they need a dinner.
Me: Lizzo will probably be quite inspiring for my 7 year old daughter who can’t sleep to watch with me.
Lizzo: WHERE’S MY BIG ASS BITCHES? US MOTHERFUCKERS RUN THE WORLD
#Glastonbury
Parish won’t get it, but deserves some credit for sticking with Roy over the last 18 months.
What do you open to get into your cupboards?
Just realised Palace/ Hull has been moved to Willows 1st Birthday Party. Gutted that I'll have to miss her first one but lots more to do.
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The “comfortable” bit of it suggested to me that it’s preparation that she’ll have died peacefully.
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It wasn’t recorded for the press initially, but as potential evidence. Shameful behaviour for anyone that tries to make out that those who called the cops are the one in the wrong
Guiata waited 4 months for a chance, and grabbed it by making match winning saves.
Hennesey has a chance to prove himself and ends up making Roy wish he was an actual nazi so he had an excuse to never play him again
“Meyer doesn’t show enough in training.” Meanwhile Jairo is player of the season, gets dropped, then can’t get back in on the back of a 7-0 loss. Irrelevant of your form or how you train if you’re not a favourite of Roy’s.
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They not watched the ride on delta?!Nearly took galvin out twice when it was still a race!
Not even mugging Hennessy off here, but Guiata has made better and more important saves in 6 months than Hennessy is 3 years
Oh FFS. But I don’t blame him. Mismanaged and poorly treated right to the end. Will be remembered fondly by so many
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Replying to @ESPNcricinfo
Moeen calls time on his Test career having played 64 matches in the format, in which he scored 2914 runs and took 195 wickets
es.pn/3ibHunn
Sorry lads, couldn't tweet much this week. Was busy trying to bring in this beaut to the world
Stick together as long as you're not a foreign fan and when we're not abusing the new manager
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Holmesdale Fanatics (@ULTRAS_CPFC) urge #CPFC fans to stick together to help club out of relegation mess standard.co.uk/sport/football
More kits than strikers
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THE SET IS COMPLETE.
Introducing the Eagles' third kit for the 2017/18 season...
BUY IT NOW 
retail.cpfcstore.co.uk #CPFC 
Wilf does a podcast saying he wants to win something to show his kids.
Meanwhile Roy is throwing cup games with no ambition.
No wonder the poor bastard wants out!
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Imagine your life is of such poor quality you need to try and call people out who’ve raised an amazing amount of money for charity! Well done guys and ignore the haters
Wayne Hennesey 10 minutes ago: anyone but Spurs, anyone but Spurs.
Wayne Hennesey now:
GIF
Had to go to Redhill to collect my Valentine present but he was totally worth it. Say hi to Felix instagram.com/p/B8i7vxqngAw/
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Bit weird you didn’t want to answer questions from our fans about the ticketing fiasco so quickly.
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Agreed. It seems a shame that those being paid to big it up so much are so aggressive in their tone
He’s made a claim and backed it with hard evidence. If you want to counter you need the evidence to prove it wrong.
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If you didn’t reply with “It’s you’re” then you haven’t won yet...
I’ve been to Libertines and Babyshambles gigs like this... It never ends well.
Man City fans singing "you're crystal palace, you sing all the time" was a nice touch.
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The industry didn’t create it. A person did and the industry followed suit.
Also slightly different cos artists had the choice to join or not, and still do.
And also financially it’s ruined the music industry
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tried to get a selfie wth the dog who decided to pretend she was being strangled
I genuinely think without Guaita we’d be in a proper relegation dog fight. He making unbelievable saves, time and time again.
We’ve beeen down in Eastbourne for 10 days and not seen the seals in the harbour once, despite coming twice a week. Today on my early run I finally saw one. So had to run back home to wake willow up and bring her back to see. Totally worth it
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12 months later I’m still not entirely sure of Corbyn’s position.
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Plenty of ways to help them, and I’m sure you are. But scoring 200 odd to not even make it a game for the oppo probably does more harm than good compared to the time and hours you probably actually do within the club
Yes. Using a picture of a stadium on non match day will ALWAYS win an argument...
The video refereee there just confirming that Hennesey is indeed a massive cunt
I have no ill will on Benteke. Been unlucky with his injuries, been under appreciated at times, and we don’t really a play a style that suits him, certainly not any more. If we got £15m I think that can help solve a lot of issues
My highlight was being at the bar at half time, and the bloke behinds mate joining him... “how the fuck are we 2-0 down to this shit.”
Ermmm, it’s not 2 mate.
“3?!! I only went for a piss.”
It’s actually 4.
“OH FUCK OFF” and off he left.
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2 years ago today, I witnessed Palace go 4-0 down to Sunderland before half time. Absolute scenes.
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Yep. I shop almost exclusively for discounts bar the odd shirt that I adore and hunt down. FINALLY found the Zanzibar Hummel kit I’d wanted for 7/8 years last month. Glorious scenes.
Genuinely burst out laughing at this goal
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We play Brighton in a couple of weeks, so I thought it was only right to bring this back out. twitter.com/ryanadsett/sta…
Imagine the passion if Derry was still here!
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It ends GOALLESS at Selhurst Park...
And Joachim Andersen is NOT happy! 
Yes. With the lights on the pitch and the nets up... 🤗
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Last time I saw someone get sucked off that much on screen I was frantically trying to shut my laptop as my wife came down the stairs