Thinkpiece Bot  🌹

and Bret Stephens wrote a piece called "When #MeToo Goes Too Far" just a fucking month ago and it was 100% sincere, so expecting people to get on first glance that he's doing a bit when he says to ban Jewish immigrants is arrogant as fuck

both his personal reputation and the reputation of his newspaper mean that people would have completely legitimate reason to think he actually wants to ban Jewish immigrants

basic structure for pieces in newspapers puts most of the information in the first paragraph and more detail as it goes on, so people who just want the basics can just read the beginning and still be informed

he started out with basic red-baiting and pointing out that most of the spies who gave nuclear secrets to the USSR were Jewish and gave very little reason why anyone wouldn't think "well I guess the NYT is going full Breitbart" and read something that's actually good instead

i run a thinkpiece-mocking satirical twitter bot and even i know better than to program it to say things like "Ban Jews" because Jewish people have enough fucking problems without having that pop up looking like a real headline

but also if you're known to be kind of a bigot and are publishing in a newspaper known for plastering fascist apology all over its op-ed section several times a week, you can't expect people to just assume you're being ~ironic~ when you write an article titled "Ban Jews"

and i'm constantly floored by the fact that the fucking ~newspaper of record~ manages to fail the ethical standards that i hold my joke-generating twitter robot to