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I go to the gym so infrequently that I still call it the James.
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I look at math the way a dog looks at an airplane.
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In the 1950s, it was also illegal to yell "Murray?!" in a crowded theater.
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It's a sad state of affairs when I've lost track of all the cities I need to pray for.
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I hear we get a "leap second" this year. Plans?
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"Whoa is me" - Keanu Reeves
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"Wanna pop a xanax in the Civic and kayak with mom and dad at noon?" "Can't. Scared." "Of the water?" "No. Palindromes."
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How could the sequel to Independence Day be so bad when the original was such a piece of shit?
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I miss 1990 when this was impossible.
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It must be uncomfortable for brothers and sisters to watch Game of Thrones together.
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"You ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no mellon of mine" (Elvish Presley)
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For Knick fans. Seal - Kiss From A Rose (Official Music Video 720p HD) + Lyricshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMD2TwRvuoU&feature=share …
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If Cleveland wins, no question Harrison Barnes is the MVP.
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Hey guys, if you want to laugh at something other than the officiating tonight, try Vicious on PBS at 8. It's hilarious!
#ViciousPBS -
Just saw a commercial where the WIVES were the smart ones and the HUSBANDS were the idiots. FINALLY!
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African-American please
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I don't like it when new Sportscenter anchors are way too comfortable.
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Can both teams lose game 7?
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When I talk to smart people, my brain feels like an out-of-gas car being pushed into the station by 3 college kids.
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Can't wait for Disney's "Big Fuckin' Guy".
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List of people Lebron is no: Jordan, Kobe, Bird, Magic, Isaiah, Hodor.
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Mike Scully