People can't quite seem to let go of the notion that being admittance to, or exclusion from, the category of sexually desirable human beings reflects a sort of natural justice, a verdict on one's general soundness just neutrally delivered by the cosmos.
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There isn't just *one* such category of course; it shifts as you get older, move in different circles, start wanting different things and being drawn into different circumstances by those wants. What that also means is that the way it's constructed is not neutral or universal.
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I remember reading a sci-fi story years ago in which a society which had abolished prison dealt with its remaining incorrigibly violent sociopaths by genetically modifying them so that they gave off a repulsive stench (which they themselves could not smell).
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The smell served to warn others that they were not to be trusted and shouldn't be associated with, and motivated their general ostracism. The particular cruelty of the story was that those so modified did not know what had been done to them.
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A lot of our social heuristics for deciding who's trustworthy *already* work a bit like that. I remember being introduced to a friend of my then-girlfriend who decided that I was evasive and emotionally withholding because I didn't make eye-contact with her.
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I remember being genuinely startled by that judgement - I thought of myself as quite helplessly candid, in a sort of blurtingly-teenaged way, and couldn't see why something I habitually tended not to do (for reasons I hadn't fathomed at the time) should be so significant.
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My point being, I suppose, that heuristics of that sort aren't always particularly fine-tuned, or particularly fair, and their rigid and oversensitive application can be dehumanising towards people who are just a bit eccentric.
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p.s. The story, which appeared in "Yet More Penguin Science Fiction", was this one: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Country_of_the_Kind …
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The whole incel thing was pretty reasonable as of its founding by a queer woman. But then it all went to hell:https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/apr/25/woman-who-invented-incel-movement-interview-toronto-attack?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other …
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