If you can’t handle me at my worst I, sincerely, hope you are not my hospice nurse.
Pinned Tweet
Follow
Jeff Elliott
@thejeffelliott
Download my album here itunes.apple.com/ca/album/slow-
Toronto, CanadaJoined December 2011
Jeff Elliott’s Tweets
While most of the Royal Family is mourning Prince Phillip’s passing; for sure one of them is concerned what colour his corpse will be.
2
Important. Pass it on.
#BanTrumpSaveDemocracy
Quote Tweet
Hey @Google @YouTube @sundarpichai @SusanWojcicki,
Seems like you're struggling.
Virtually every other social media company has removed Donald Trump, but you might let him BACK ON!?
I wrote a statement for you. Feel free to use.
This is not hard.
#BanTrumpSaveDemocracy
29
413
1,370
Now, I have a toothbrush bristle stuck in my gums...2020 really is the worst.
1
1
55
289
643
Next Monday!
The online premiere of SQUASHED!
Starring the one and only , Latin dreamboat @Nochampagnepapi and, well, me.
2
2
13
We want to help make staying at home sound a little bit better, so we’re opening up SiriusXM for you. Stream now for free until 5/15. Go to siriusxm.ca/streamfree to start listening.
26
107
110
Show this thread
Think I might live stream my French lessons.
At least my girlfriend has stopped asking, ‘what are you thinking about?’
5
The Trump campaign just released a cease and desist letter demanding that TV stations immediately pull this ad. So obv share it everywhere!
0:30
19.6M views
From
Priorities USA
1,594
65.9K
72.2K
A lot of surgical masks on transit today but it’s good to see some renegades out there still eating and chewing with their mouths open on the subway. Can’t catch a virus, if you are a virus. #COVID19
6
Which Jeff is more likely to spit in your face? or ?
Find out on an all new #ThePotatoFiles
neversleepsnetwork.com/series/the-pot
#comedy #toronto #torontocomedy #podcast #podernfamily #podcasting #torontoartist #livecomedy #torontolife #canadiancomedy #yukyuks
Quote Tweet
Funnyman @thejeffelliott popped by @NeverSleepsNet for a fun chat! Give it a listen or Jeff will spit right in your face.
Never Sleeps Network
goo.gl/7eDJZm
iTunes
goo.gl/gA6r5n
Google Play
goo.gl/5DSJS5
Spotify
goo.gl/5xURDe
2
2
Funnyman popped by for a fun chat! Give it a listen or Jeff will spit right in your face.
Never Sleeps Network
goo.gl/7eDJZm
iTunes
goo.gl/gA6r5n
Google Play
goo.gl/5DSJS5
Spotify
goo.gl/5xURDe
2
1
I just heard a white sports caster refer to Tiger as ‘his boy’. Seems like he still has a job. Is everybody asleep???
Did a little recording for the CBC check it out
Getting 'out-of-country-high' isn't for the faint of heart! | CBC Radio cbc.ca/radio/laughout
1
4
In this dark time; can we all take a moment to think about Gwyneth’s aesthetician having to spend years collecting all that wax.
5
Today's comedian of the day is the very funny !
Jeff will be hosting the SOLD OUT Industry Night Thursday January 23 at .
Still limited tickets available for two other shows.
icebreakerscomedy.com
Show presented by
1
3
** 4/6 shows are already SOLD OUT **
Tickets for the remaining 2 will not last so ACT NOW!!
Tix: icebreakerscomedy.com
3
5
The 2020 Festival is excited to be back at on Thursday January 23 for INDUSTRY NIGHT with hometown hero headlining!
Tix: icebreakerscomedy.com
Show presented by
#icebreakers2020
1
3
I’ve seen three people wearing capes today. Everything is going to be fine!
1
7
#Toronto this Thursday a few of our own Yuks comics perform at this very special fundraiser! and will be at helping them raise funds for affordable housing and services for performing artists. Get tix here ht.ly/vCCA30pIURk
4
7
Is there a better way to spit in the face of technology than paying your internet bill in person at the bank?
3
SQUASHED is a short film coming this summer starring , myself, @Nochampagnepapi and more! Coming this summer!
0:22
1.9K views
7
23
#Ottawa this week we're jam packed with hilarity at ! Thurs-Sat we've got headliner along with MC , @hehefangzhou and @KrawchRocket. Then on Sunday, Darryl swaps out with . See - action packed!
4
9
Hey #Toronto, Corktown Comedy is celebrating 14 years tonight by inviting our funny friends to drop by, and you should too! 9 pm, Betty's, 240 king st e.
4
10
There are two types of people in the world. Those that squeeze the toothpaste in the middle and those who believe you can judge a personality based on how you squeeze the toothpaste.
4
14
Tonight 7:30pm come check out crush it along w/ & Tickets ; yukyuks.com/edmonton #YukYuks #YuksYeg #ComedyBar #FunNight #YEGComedy #StandUpComic #ComedyNight #YEGComic #YEGShows #cnty #yeg #centurycasino
1
3
On Thurs we've got headliner & for a fun Valentines Day show & then Fri-Sat it's headlining w/ & ! Love is in the air, cuz we love these shows! #edmonton #cnty #YuksYeg #FunNight #YEGComedy #StandUpComic
5
5
Why do people, navigating the aisle on a plane, think it’s okay to use your seat back like the hand grips on a pommel horse.
1
I’m not saying that everybody who wears cologne to the gym works out with a towel around their neck but if you wear a towel around your neck while you work out you are for sure wearing cologne.
6
Stop sending me this shit
3,345
154.4K
700.3K
TONIGHT!!
We've got one helluva #DopeNMic tonight at !
This is the best show you'll see in #Toronto with some of the best comics in the coolest place on Earth.
See you there!
Text for reservations
416.450.9125
facebook.com/groups/DopeNMic
1
2
The is the best place in the world to watch a comedy show! There is nothing like it anywhere.
Plus this week's #DopeNMic lineup is nothing but stone cold killers.
Come get it...
Text for reservations
416.450.9125
facebook.com/groups/DopeNMic
2
2
My gym just called to wish me a happy birthday. None of my family has yet to do so. Exercise really is good for your mental health.
5
2
32
My show is creating a lot of buzz amongst local parking lots. Come see what all the hype is about tonight at 8.
1
7
This starts tonight! Come on down.
1
2