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  1. Pinned Tweet
    Apr 19

    do you think mountain dew can heal a person?

  2. Jun 9

    How do I commemorate my favorite bar in SF closing:

  3. Jun 9

    Spotify now regularly plays me red hot chili peppers as they've finally figured out I am a 13 year old boy

  4. Jun 9

    CAME INTO FIND THIS ON MY DESK I can finally stop dipping things in mayo 🙏🏻🙏🏻 is the best human ever

  5. Jun 6
  6. Retweeted
    Jun 5

    Damn these Duolingo lessons are starting to feel like personal attacks

  7. Jun 2

    Is it acceptable to wear sunglasses at the airport if you are not famous

  8. May 31

    Petition to ban from photoshop

  9. May 31

    listen the orange doritos here are really the red doritos and the red doritos are really the purple doritos and 9/11 was an inside job

  10. May 30
  11. May 30

    I question the temperament of anyone able to sit through an entire animal collective album

  12. May 29

    @ world, hairless guinea pigs exist i am incredibly pleased

  13. May 29

    Me: I am going to have a great productive start to the week My hangover:

  14. May 26

    happy birthday to graydon who is 33 years young, glad you are still

  15. May 26

    My employer made me speak at tea time they are trying to kill me

  16. May 23
  17. May 22

    My airbnb host asked if I was busy and I wasn't so he drove me to Bono's house

  18. May 22
    Replying to

    Also featuring duck

  19. May 22

    "So glad it's glorious and sunny out for you today" -, on dublin

  20. May 22

    i don't think girls wear all black in dublin SOS

  21. May 18

    Ready for this flight, peace the hell out, Donald!!

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